Listen up fam: As much as we don’t want to believe it, we’ve all heard those annoying facts saying that we shouldn’t eat after a certain time at night. Beliefs range from 6, 7, 8 pm… Who even cares at this point? The idea sucks, and it’s an understatement to say that this challenge becomes even harder while at college.
The combination of odd late-night drunchies and cramming in homework all day only leads to one thing: saying “screw it” and eating to our heart’s desires. And what happens when we have no choice but to have to wait until late hours in the night to go to the gym? Well spooners, let’s all come clean and own up to what we tell our growling bellies after we burned all those calories on the treadmill.
1. “Wow, look at all that work I just did. I’m literally amazing. Nothing can stop me. Booyah.”
This is the HECK YEAH, I’M A HEALTH NUT stage. You just got off from that super health-kick high of working hard. You see that perfect body in your future. Nothing can stop you now. You walk into your dorm room, and to calm the unnerving sounds coming from your tum tum, you immediately snatch that apple in the way back of the fridge, or you snatch something from the list of healthy things to eat after you work out. You go girl. You eat dat fruit. Treadmill = not wasted time at all.
2. “Okay, okay. A few won’t hurt.”
So that apple’s gone, and ~ shocker ~ your belly is begging for more. SOS. To hush hush your little belly, your eyes spy some pretzels in the corner of your cabinet. You were being so good: Going to the gym and then even eating fruit for crying out loud. But, I mean, a few won’t hurt. After all, adults always say moderation is key, right?
3. “What can I add to this? If I fill up on this, then I won’t eat more!”
After eating way more than the promised FEW pretzels, you start to crave something a bit more. The question that always goes through my mind is “what can I add to these to make it more filling, and then it basically won’t count as a new food that I’m eating because it’s still just pretzels!” You slyly open the fridge, and your eyes grow five times their size as you pop off that hummus container and dip and crunch, dip and crunch, dip and crunch…
4. “What else can I dip this in…”
Skip ahead 5 minutes and you’ve officially out-hummused yourself. You need new ideas for dip. But then…you find the glorious, but oh so dangerous, peanut butter to dunk your pretzels in. Oh, peanut butter. Why must you be so good and delicious? As your pretzel bag runs dangerously low, you slowly inch your fingers to the spoon, and before you know it you’re shoving tablespoon after tablespoon of gooey goodness into your salivating mouth. Whoops?
5. “Screw it I’m eating ice cream.”
Well, by this point, you’ve realized you already ruined that health craze bull crap. You crack open that freezer, and whip out that chocolate fudge brownie, cookie dough, phish food (whatever have you) and feel fully satisfied. Cold pizza? Easy-mac? Yaaas please. Treat yo self gurlfrand. *shnap*
And, anyways, these scientists say why we can eat at night. So let’s go with that instead.
Maybe tomorrow night we’ll be healthy? Yeah, totally…