So you may or may not have heard, but Adele released a new single recently after her three year hiatus. It’s called “Hello,” and it had more than 25 million views on just its first day of release. Half of those were probably from me, but I’m not even embarrassed. It’s a powerful and emotional song – one that requires a lot of binge eating and food therapy.
Here are 5 foods and drinks to help you get through Adele’s new single with only minimal tears.
1. Hot Cider
The song opens up with some sparse piano chords and Adele’s magical voice emerging. It’s ominous. It’s mysterious. It’s probably the greatest intro I’ve ever heard. We’ll probably need some hot cider to comfort us through this haunting intro because we all know shit is going down soon (bonus points if the cider is spiked).
2. Smoked Gouda
Some violins start playing and Adele’s voice crescendos. The build-up is intensifying, as is probably your hunger. Probably sounds like a good time for some cheese. “They say that time’s supposed to heal ya,” Adele remarks. But time has only made this cheese even better. If smoked gouda isn’t your thing, here are some other types of cheese you could also be eating.
3. Dark Chocolate
Adele’s belting out the chorus now, and we’ll probably need some dark chocolate to stop your tears. And if your heart isn’t in excruciating pain from Adele’s moving and tear-jerking voice, then you should definitely be eating dark chocolate to fix that icebox heart of yours.
4. Mashed Potatoes
Your food choice should reflect your current state of being because by now, your mental state is probably in pieces. Your emotions are most likely crushed by Adele’s devastating lyricism – mashed, one might even say. Help yourself to a good helping of mashed potatoes to console your soul. You deserve it for making it this far into the song and still holding yourself together.
5. A Bottle of Merlot
Now that Adele has successfully broken your heart in less than 5 minutes, I think it’s appropriate to break out the wine. Yes, a whole bottle is necessary. A song like this calls for something dark and bitter, closely resembling how you feel as the song comes to a close. And now that you’re beginning to get drunk and your stomach is happy, I believe it’s time to hit the repeat button a few more dozen times. God damn it, Adele, you British heart-breaking queen, you.
#SpoonTip: The Merlot pairs well with the gouda.