Ever since last Friday’s stunning decision by Charter Club to require wristband signifying that the wearer is over 21, the Hose Drinking movement has been slowly building momentum in campus politics. Spearheaded by members of the Princeton Tory, a group of students have gathered enough signatures to force a USG referendum that, if passed, would call on all eating clubs to use such a wristband system.

Despite protest from some corners, student leaders from several eating clubs have come forward in support of the plan. “Although I would normally refuse to agree with Charter on anything, this proposal makes a lot of sense. Students join eating clubs not to get drunk on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights, but for the great food and conversation,” said the president of Colonial Club, which is famous campus-wide for its daily tilapia concoction. The head chef of Tiger Inn disagreed, however, noting that implementation of the referendum would lead to lower overall beer intake by the club and thus free up funds for food other than hot dogs during the last few months of the year, months that TI’s dining staff has for many years set aside for vacation time.

Across the student body, opinion is also decidedly mixed. While new Charter member Nowan E. Verre 17’ was excited at the prospect of paying club sign-in fees in exchange for not being able to party there for another year and a half, Terrace Club member Jeffrey Liu ‘16 was worried that a similar policy implemented at his eating club would undermine vaunted traditions such as initiations; however, when pressed for further details about Terrace initiations, Liu abruptly began to speak gibberish.

Editor’s Note: Jeffrey Liu is a former editor of Princeton’s Spoon University Magazine.

With such mixed opinions across the board, it will be up to the student body to decide via referendum whether eating clubs will continue their raucous late night activities or instead continue their raucous late night activities.

This is a joke post for April Fools Day.