Welcome to the Rez Cafe, a place known around Tufts University campus for its original specialty beverages, friendly staff, energetic (or occasionally delirious) caffeine addicts, and most notably, its muffins.
Most people waiting in line for the Rez already know what their beverage order will be, but time and time again I have seen that customers get to the front of the line and go through a dramatic inner conflict over what muffin they would like to order, if any. This is partially do to the fact that, yes, we tend to have a different assortment of muffins each day, thanks to our rather inconsistent muffin man, George.
In order to make this muffin-selection process go more smoothly, I have compiled an official ranking of the Rez muffins, including a description of each one, and what other Rez employees have to say about some of their favorites and why.
Pistachio
If you're able to get past the initial shock of this muffin's florescent green hue, you are in for treat. The real pistachios scattered throughout not only add to its nutty flavor, but also provide a satisfying crunch every so often. If you are a fan of pistachio gelato, or if you simply appreciate a nice ratio of crunchy to soft in a baked good, this is the muffin for you.
Personal Rating: 8/10
Chocolate Chip
When the morning sweet tooth strikes, this may be the perfect selection for you. The chocolate chip muffin still maintains the texture and flavor of a muffin, unlike the other "dessert"-like muffins we have here, which have a more cake-like consistency.
For this reason, it seems like more of a breakfast food than its counterparts. The chocolate chip muffin is a bit dry, so it is perfect for those that prefer their muffin to be on the more stiff and crumbly side.
Personal Rating: 6/10
"Soooo good!!!" - Noah Harris
"I love chocolate chip, but it is sometimes dry." - Bailey Werner
Double Chocolate Chip
This muffin is basically chocolate chip muffin's richer sibling. Instead of the classic muffin texture, this muffin boasts a gooey chocolate cake consistency, with giant chocolate chips scattered throughout.
While it's definitely more of a commitment to take this muffin on, it is 100% worth it. Mark my words, every bite of this muffin will melt in your mouth and bring you to a place of bliss.
Personal Rating: 9/10
"Consistently good, tastes like cake!" - Sage Scanlon-Perez
"Hella chocolate." - Romy Aboudarham
Coffee Cake
Serial drink-dippers, this is the muffin for you. The coffee cake muffin has a hard, crystalized top, making it perfect for breaking off a piece and submerging it into your coffee before taking a beautifully cinnamon-y, coffee-soaked bite. The coffee cake muffin falls towards the middle as far as moist level goes.
Personal Rating: 7/10
"A crumbly top and a moist bottom means a pleasant transitional experience through the entire muffin. Some would say it transcends reality, breaking you from the physical plane." - Jarod Gowgiel
"Not overly sweet, like butter rum, but not dry either, the coffee cake muffin epitomizes all there is to love in a muffin." - Ryan Johnson
"Because it's the best with peanut butter." - Ariel Feola
Cranberry Orange
I may not be the best critique of this muffin since I am not a fan of orange-flavored food in general, but I will review it all the same. Similar to the blueberry muffin, the cranberry muffin also has real berries baked into it.
Unlike the blueberries though, these cranberries give the muffin a tart flavor because they are more bitter. The consistency is similar to the blueberry though (very moist) which is it's strongest allure in my opinion.
Personal Rating: 5/10
Blueberry
It once heard that the quality of a bakery can be predicted most accurately by the quality of its blueberry muffins. This muffin definitely passes that test. The moistness is probably its biggest selling point, though the blueberries come in close second, giving the muffin its refreshing, tangy, and naturally sweet quality.
The downfall of this muffin is that because of its distinct moistness, it tends to not maintain its form and falls apart and mushing very easily. But if you're okay with receiving a mildly deformed or broken pastry, order away.
Personal Rating: 9/10
"It has the softest, gooiest texture." - Liam Easton-Calabria
"Blueberry is always so moist." - Bailey Werner
"I like that fruit." - Elana Desantis
Pumpkin
Suitable to the season, the pumpkin muffin is a popular one around this time of year. Relatively mild in flavor compared to the others, it has the perfect amount of spices like cinnamon and nutmeg to not be overwhelming.
The pumpkin flavor is definitely there, but could be more pronounced in my opinion. It is middle range as far as consistency, being less moist than the blueberry or cranberry orange, and is perfect paired with hot tea.
Personal Rating: 7/10
"I personally haven't had the honor of taste testing every flavor yet, but there always seems to be a pumpkin so I tend to get that. It certainly is good but I think I need to do some more research in the lab." - Bryce Terman
Corn
The unmistakably grainy texture of this muffin is by far the most unique. The taste resembles that of corn bread, except sweeter and more solid. Beware that not much is holding it together besides its tough outer shell, so once you get to the inside it will very likely crumble into a crumbly heap.
This muffin makes it to the next level with the help of the microwave and a bit of butter, but is also satisfying without these contributors.
Personal Rating: 8/10
"Tasty." - MK Skitka
Lemon Poppy Seed
Similar to the cranberry orange, I am not a fan of citrus-infused baked goods myself, so that's reflective in my personal rating. That being said, the lemon poppy seed is a favorite of many.
One thing I appreciate about the lemon poppy seed is the seeds generously distributed throughout, giving the muffin a nice balance between soft and grainy. This muffin is on the dryer side of the spectrum.
Personal Rating: 6/10
"Dankest... Equal parts tangy and sweet...Very soft w slight crunch from poppy seeds.. Lemon makes me think it's healthy too." - Lauren Nakamura
"A+ texture and lemony-ness." - Indigo Naar
"It's a classic, and always good." - Annie Levin
"I am liz lemon." - Jonjon Moore
"Lemon poppy seed is ok but I don't want my muffins to be acidic." - Bailey Werner
Red Velvet
To be honest, this muffin is pretty much a slightly toned down version of the double chocolate chip. It has a similarly cake-y texture and a bit less chocolate. That being said, red velvet is by no means inferior. It has a beautiful dark red color to it, and has been said to pair very nicely with cream cheese (don't knock it till you try it).
Personal Rating: 8/10
"I love the chocolate inside." - Asha Nidumolu
"Because it's red and fierce." - Kriska Desir
Bran
Oh bran. Bran gets very little TLC. Bran is always present in the day old bin. Bran prompts a heavy exhale from those who see it is the only one left in the late hours of the night. But these reactions are from people who have not tried bran.
The raisin bran muffin is super hearty and probably the most suitable for breakfast. It is filling, the raisins are perfect in ratio to overall muffin size, and it is by far one of the best consistencies for dipping in coffee.
Personal Rating: 5/10
"Bran is cool but it's never actually what you want." - Bailey Werner
Apple Cinnamon
Like the other fruit bearing muffins, the apple cinnamon has the moist consistency that I love. It has a spice similar to the pumpkin, only instead chunks of apple of dispersed within.
This muffin is for people who want to get into the fall vibe but aren't necessarily on the pumpkin bandwagon. The muffin part itself isn't overly sweet, which is nice for people who aren't looking for a pastry in their muffin.
Personal Rating: 6/10
Butter Rum
Similar to the coffee cake muffin, this muffin also has a hardened, crystalized top. What makes this muffin a bit more of an undertaking though is the fact that instead of that top having a lighter, cinnamon flavor, it is coated with a buttery toffee caramelization that may be overwhelming for some, and near euphoric for others. You either love butter rum or you don't but I definitely encourage you to find out.
Personal Rating: 7/10
Banana Nut
Last, but absolutely not least is banana nut. Banana nut is my favorite flavor, but unfortunately also infamous for being scarce here at the Rez. The banana nut is the perfect fusion of everything I love in a muffin.
It has the scattered crunchiness of the pistachio (thanks to the walnuts scattered throughout). It has the moistness of the blueberry. It has just enough hardness on top to be able to break it off and dip it into coffee.
And best of all, its flavor is authentically banana, a flavor that can sometimes fall short of tasting real.
Personal Rating: 10/10
"It's crunchy and delicious like pistachio but so much more satisfying because it's nearly impossible to find." - Jehan Madhani