On every college campus, there is a special group of troopers out there who endure tripping on sidewalks and blurting out potentially embarrassing lines with one goal in mind: a meal. You don’t want a “I’m watching my weight” kind of meal, you want to eat literally everything and anything that is edible.
Isla Vista is a safe haven amongst college towns for students who get a case of the drunchies. All you intoxicated individuals will surely not be able to resist the temptations of melted cheese, loaded carbs, and fried food that Isla Vista has to offer.
#SpoonTip: There is no such thing as being frugal when you’re inebriated.
1. IV Deli Mart
Whether it’s a Fat Danny, a massive sandwich loaded with fried eggs, ham, bacon, sausage, veggies, fries, AND cheese, or 14 different kinds of fries choices alongside a gigantic breakfast menu that is served all day (is that even legal?!), IV Deli Mart is a beacon of light that attracts all kinds of different drunkards to its front door.
Open every day from when the sun rises to when it’s so late at night, it’s almost morning again, this establishment serves virtually any craving one’s heart could possibly desire. Not to mention, you’re getting great deals for the amount of food. Two massive corn dogs for $2.50? Now that’s a steal.
2. Hana Kitchen
You already know that there has to be teriyaki shop in here somewhere to please my fellow alcoholics out there who love getting some rice, chicken, and veggies all for one in their mouths. Hana Kitchen gets the job done. Serving both chicken and beef bowls AND mango and teriyaki tacos, this establishment is also known as the primary source for helping Isla Vista’s boba needs, offering up to ten or so flavors.
A separate counter has lots of options to make your bowl into a masterpiece,with such things like green onions, more teriyaki sauce, and ginger. As a Hana Kitchen regular, I suggest one does not hold back on the spicy sriracha mayo.
3. Buddha Bowls
Everyone’s heard of a classic clam chowder bowl – delicious without a doubt. However, Buddha Bowls takes bread bowls to a whole new level. Buddha Bowls boasts many options like the Mac Daddy, the genius idea of combining bread with everyone’s favorite childhood food, mac ‘n cheese, alongside the Pizza Bowl, for those who would rather have marinara sauce, grilled onions, mozzarella, and Italian sausage topped off in a bread bowl.
For the people who are ready to ball all out with their money, Buddha Bowls offers the pack your own bowl option as well, allowing one to choose the kind bread they want and the different ingredients.
4. Bagel Cafe
Bagels – did that catch your attention or did you want more? Bagel sandwiches. Another one. Homemade bagel sandwiches topped with ingredients ranging from bacon to sprouts to peanut butter – made to order right when you feel your dopamine levels rising from the alcohol in your system.
Who wouldn’t enjoy bagel recipes that were brought down straight from New York to the streets of Isla Vista? Not only are the prices fair and the bagels are freshly made, the shop closes down during the afternoon and opens up before midnight to specifically cater to party-goers who roam the streets ravaging for food. That’s legit. Cream cheese, habanero salsa, chicken salad — you name it. All of these ingredients between two bagels of your choice, making this spot an essence for your typical night drunk.
5. Aladdin Cafe
Although a little bit under the radar, Aladdin Cafe serves I.V. the most authentic and flavorful Middle Eastern food there is. With complimentary hummus, salad, and rice on each plate, this food is served at great quantity, something every drunk individual is looking forward to after having a tiring night outside. Plenty of garlic sauce included.
Whether it’s the classic shish kabobs or the beef shawarma sandwiches, Aladdin Cafe’s customers leave happy. Not to mention, this restaurant knows what the people want by serving beer for those who want to carry on their wild night of fun and food as well as offering hookah.
There is nothing more filling or satisfying after a long night out than a ridiculously large pizza from arguably the best make-your-own pizza chain around. Blaze will cater to your needs no matter how bashed you are from the tequila in your belly. For those who follow the American motto go big or go home, the “Build-Your-Own” pizza allows for customers to add on virtually any meat, cheese, or veggie they want.
For the ones that are a bit too intoxicated for the night to speak a whole sentence, the signature pizzas are always a safe bet too, such as the Link In pizza (Italian sausage, roasted red peppers, mozzarella, and sautéed onions) or even the Simple Pie (mozzarella, red sauce, parmesan). It’s okay to be basic, too.
If the words “Isla Vista, food, and drunk” are together, there is no possible way that Freebirds is not somewhere within that very same conversation. This eatery, originating in Santa Barbara, will most certainly have a lengthy line of tipsy individuals streaming in and out of the doors.
Freebirds is the Taj Mahal of drunchie foods in Isla Vista. The nachos from here can not be ignored, allowing one to add up to 25+ different options of meat, rice, beans, tomatillos, pico de gallo, bacon, guacamole, cheese, and avocado. Enough goodness to be shared by many.
Just be warned that the humongous toasty burritos and the massive savory nachos are no game to be played – food comas are possible post-consumption.