I’m basically Hulk. I chug protein shakes daily, do pushups in my sleep, and regularly get over 100 likes on gym selfies. But since I pack on so much muscle, I need a way to refuel after sweaty gym sessions of lifting things up and putting them down.
And what better place to refuel than Poppy’s, that mysterious little café at the Nelson that offers muscle milk and hard-boiled eggs alongside red velvet muffins and microwavable noodle bowls? I present to you a random assortment of foods that will likely make your muscles as big as mine – you might as well reach for the stars, amirite?
Raw Diet Detox Mix
Raw diet? Detox? I didn’t realize I was toxic in the first place. Despite being unfortunately titled, this trail mix of almonds, sunflower kernels, walnuts, and pumpkin seeds is filled with protein and nutrients like calcium, iron, and zinc. Eat the entire box for maximum gainz.
Every serious bodybuilder knows that muscle milk is key to packing on the pounds – it even has the word “muscle” in the label. I guzzle that stuff after every meal – never mind the fact that certain brands contain levels of heavy metals exceeding levels proposed by the United States Pharmacopeia. Who cares about arsenic poisoning? Not this girl.
Granola with Stuff in It
Poppy’s offers granola with multiple add-ins like banana chips, cranberries, chocolate chips, and (my all-time favorite) dried figs. Granola boasts tons of fiber, while cranberries and figs (mmm) contain antioxidants and potassium. I fill my bag up with chocolate and then add in a bit of fig on days when I’m trying to bulk up.
Eggs, Veggies, and Hummus
These hard-boiled eggs taste a little weak when you’re used to downing them raw. Nevertheless, after a hard day lifting metal, a snack of eggs, veggies, and hummus will give your muscles the protein, carbohydrates, and nutrients they need to grow huge like mine.
So there you have it. The secret to muscle-building success is not heavy lifting and whey powder, it’s Poppy’s. Eat these nutritious foods post-workout and get swole.