It’s a fact that food tastes infinitely better when you’re drunk, and this article explains why. But right now we’re not focused on the why, we’re focused on the where. The where to get all the salty, cheesy, fatty foods your body is craving after a few too many (pitchers, shots?) at the Grove.
Let’s be honest, the Grove isn’t actually that fun. By the end of the night, after you’ve been sweat on at Barracuda, seen every single person you know at Tavern, and/or been rejected from Fat Tuesday, all you want is food. So, next time you’re in this predicament (aka this Thursday), refer to the following guide.
It’s a little sketchy that this store isn’t actually a Stop N’ Shop – but instead a Stop N’ Shop Ponce, but why should that in the way of your drunk food search? Circle K has the basics to satisfy your late night cravings: soda, snacks, and a sandwich bar that I’ve heard is pretty bomb – even when you’re sober. Google describes it as an “unassuming, 24/7 convenience store known for its extensive beer selection & sub sandwiches.” I couldn’t agree more, Google.
Try the: Sub with whatever toppings your inebriated little heart desires
If you’re not coherent enough to craft an edible sandwich: Every variety of Ben & Jerry’s
JJ’s (idk if that’s a nickname I’m making it one) covers the basics – there’s bread to settle your stomach and then pretty much whatever else you could possibly want on a sandwich. I know some people are really into it, but it’s just not my go to. Sandwiches are too civilized for the person I become at 2 am on a Friday.
#SpoonTip: At the end of the night JJ’s offers a roll of bread for only .25 cents. If that’s not cheap eating, idk what is.
Best sandwich: #9 Italian Night Club (with hot peppers)
El Taquito a.k.a Grove Tacos
I know, it’s shocking that “Grove Tacos” is not the actual name for this little taco joint. Their tacos are also supposedly really good sober. The website says that they have the best Mexican food in Miami… I’m not sure who told them that, but in the right circumstances, I’d probably agree.
You need to eat the: Steak Tacos, and/or chips and guac
I couldn’t write an article about Grove drunchies and not include NY Pizza. I’d argue that the crowd inside the tiny pizza shop is 100x more entertaining than that in any bar in the Grove. The employees kind of scare me, but with each slice approximately the same size, if not bigger, than my head, it’s so good you might even want two. Unfortunately, I couldn’t tell you the different toppings or how much the pizza actually costs, but whatever I’ve paid I’m sure it’s worth the joy it brings me.
If you wanna be gourmet: 4-Cheese Pizza
If you’re like me: Pepperoni, always
If you’re very drunk: Supreme Pizza #yolo
Late Night Dining
Throwback to freshman year, am I right!? Even though I’m still a freshman (lol), late night holds a special place in my heart. Open from 11pm-2am Thursday through Saturday, the dining hall and its staff has really seen me at my best (last week when I went completely sober just because I wanted fries with buffalo sauce) and my worst (when I ordered three grilled cheeses all for myself on Halloween and obnoxiously asked every 30 seconds when they’d be done). The fries are great. The fro yo is awesome. I’ve heard great things about the omelettes too, or you can order a wrap if you’re tryna be healthy, but don’t even get me started on the grilled cheese.
Obviously get: a grilled cheese. Duh.