As if enough people aren’t already over-concerned about their bodies (merci beaucoup, society), scientists just had this awesome realization: our melting planet might make us fat.

How is climate change a threat to healthy and sustainable eating?

climate change

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Though temperatures and increased atmospheric CO₂ can give rise to quicker plant growth, it also might entail fewer micronutrients in each spoonful of fruit or vegetables you force down your throat at dinner. As stated by the bearers of bad freaking news (AKA the U.S. Global Change Research Program), the level of CO₂ earth is predicted to reach by 2100 could result in plants that, as I mentioned, are low in proteins and important micronutrients and high in carbohydrates. MARVELOUS.

In areas with elevated levels of food insecurity, this could generate even steeper levels of malnutrition and micronutrient privation. In regions of the world that maintain a more stable food supply, people would have to consume a whole lot more food just to get the same levels of nutrition—intensifying the rampancy of obesity in the process.

The correlation between CO₂ and the nutritional value of plants is widely recorded, and the report applies terms like “very likely” and “high confidence” to illustrate the likeliness of the changes occurring and fucking everything up.

Just as humans do in most pressing situations in these days and days before, let’s keep taking no notice of the fact that these high CO₂ levels will transform our healthiest food into shit only slightly better than hostess cupcakes.

climate change

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Lewis Ziska, leading author of said report, even notes sarcastically, “Other than the fact that the rising CO₂ by itself is likely to result in plants becoming junk food for all living species, it’s no big deal.”

THE ONLY ADVANTAGE (KINDA): You will no longer have to whine about how frustrating it is that unhealthy food tastes better than healthy food. Soon it’ll all be a bunch of garbage and you can eat yourself into the waters of Lethe for all anyone cares.

climate change

Gif courtesy of giphy.com