Whether you’re feelin’ the Bern or trying to make America great again, one thing all voters need is food to fuel up on the campaign trail. And with 31 primaries left, it looks like fast food is the best option for the busy campaign volunteer on the road. But where to go? See which fast-food joint is the perfect match for your 2016 presidential candidates of choice.
Bernie Sanders: Ben & Jerry’s
The crazy-haired hippie stirring the hearts of millennials has a lot in common with the crunchy-granola ice cream duo, since both hail from the great state of Vermont. Ben & Jerry’s famous Vermonster Sundae is a socialist’s dream: everyone grab a spoon and distribute the frozen wealth.
Hillary Clinton: Starbucks
Hil is so keen to be hip with the millennials, there’s no way she’d skip this #basic coffee staple. Besides, Starbs has free wifi, and everyone knows she needs email access on that Blackberry. Let’s hope it’s a secure network.
Marco Rubio: Wendy’s
Like the freckled, giggling gal on the logo, Marco Rubio is the wholesome family-man of the Republican Party. His wife and kids are always at his side, and he wants you to know he’s just a humble guy with an American dream. But like Wendy’s, he doesn’t seem to be anyone’s first choice (or even top two). And much like Wendy’s logo, that forced smile just seems a little robotic.
**Disclaimer: Yes, we know Marco Rubio has since dropped out of the race, but this comparison was just too good to pass up.
Ted Cruz: Chick-fil-A
Ted Cruz is a controversial guy, and Chick-fil-A is no stranger to bad press. They both strike a chord with the religious crowd, and despite controversy, both remain wildly popular. But remember, no chicken biscuits — or phone banking — on Sundays.
John Kasich: Auntie Anne’s Pretzels
Like sweet old Auntie Anne, Kasich is a good-hearted moderate who seems to have people’s best interests at heart. But like sweet old Auntie Anne, John Kasich is just not going to be elected president. John, take a hint from the soft pretzel joint and stay out of the limelight: stick to the House of Representatives, the mall kiosks of the US Government. He just can’t compete with the name brands of the Republican Party that are up for the presidential bid.
Donald Trump: Benihana
It’s not exactly fast food, but the hibachi restaurant chain perfectly captures Trump’s showy style. A red-faced chef yelling, gesturing, and putting on a show is right up Trump’s alley — and if you throw a pair of knives in his hands, Trump could easily be serving up a side of fried rice with his politics.
So be an informed voter. Get to know your candidate of choice — and their fast-food equivalent. Who knows what future elections will hold? #Chipotle2020