Some researchers dedicate their lives to curing disease. Others choose to create ice cream that doesn’t melt. Some might say that the latter group of scientists could be doing more important things with their extensive educations, but I beg to differ. After all, which kind of scientist would you want on your side during a post-apocalyptic race for survival: The ones that have spent all day, erry day, cooped up in a lab for decades with only bacteria for company, or the ones that presumably have access to vaults of delicious goodness? I rest my case.
In the event of a Mad Max-style apocalypse, you’ll find me at the Universities of Edinburgh and Dundee, where researchers believe they have stumbled upon the secret to unmeltable ice cream. Our savior comes in the form of BsIA, a naturally-occurring protein found in some foods that binds to air and fat droplets in the ice cream, which makes for a “more stable, smoother consistency,” according to the Independent. Scientists even believe that the improved ice cream could be made with less saturated fat and fewer calories than the ice cream currently available in stores.
Are you salivating yet? Because I’m totally salivating right now.
Because the ice cream will stay frozen longer, it will be easier for manufacturers to deliver to stores. According to my rudimentary understanding of economics, this could make shipping cheaper in the long run. Possibly. I spent the majority of my AP Economics class daydreaming about lunch next period, which, incidentally, almost always included ice cream. What can I say? I have my priorities straight.
If you’re thinking this all sounds too good to be true, you’d be right; there is a catch. According to the Independent, this magnificent blessing from the gods won’t be available for the next three to five years.
Tragic as that may be, at least we have something to look forward to in case Donald Trump is elected President of the United States. He’ll probably be off starting diplomatic incident after diplomatic incident while we’re all happily chowing down. There are worse fates.