It’s highly uncommon nowadays for any student, international or not, to not know about Thanksgiving, “thanks” to the internet. But of course, international freshmen still have a lot of questions about their first Thanksgiving.

Read on to find out some reactions they might have to this very Murican tradition, and try to answer for yourself these very tongue-in-cheek but very pertinent inquiries. Note: take this article with a pinch of salt.

Why turkey?

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Seriously. Why turkey? Why not a swordfish or a pigeon pie?

Do people dress up as turkeys?

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Because I swear to God, I saw a man in a turkey costume on Halloween. Or is it that people dress as pumpkins on Thanksgiving? Speaking of pumpkins…

Is the pumpkin pie leftover from Halloween?

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Because I am pretty sure by the time Halloween came, everyone was either too full/too sick of anything to do with pumpkins for a long while (read: a month).

What do people do with all the leftovers?

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Again, it just seems like too much food. What do you do with all that food after Thanksgiving is over? Do you use it for Christmas?

Why is it awkward if you go to a Thanksgiving lunch at a hotel?

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That reminds me, why do people give sympathetic/amused looks to those people (excluding international students, of course) who say they’re going to eat lunch at a hotel? Isn’t hotel food fancy? That brings me to the next point…

Why are Thanksgiving lunches so expensive?

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And I thought my dining plan was expensive. I’m pretty sure my all-you-can-eat dining plan per meal costs less than half of the you-can-eat-a-lot-but-not-all lunch at a hotel.

Do people really “give thanks”?

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I hope they do. Otherwise, the world isn’t what I think it to be, and the stress of this is just too much, on top of the fact that I’m already ready to die from the workload. Working on the assumption that they DO give thanks…

Are people ever sarcastic/mean when giving thanks?

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Because, you see, I can’t imagine the people who I go to college with being charming and gracious at home. Oh, and I also happened to watch Season 4 of Dexter.

Is there some fun activity like trick-or-treating or Easter egg hunts?

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I mean, just giving thanks and being a glutton doesn’t sound like it can hold my interest for the entire day. Or do people just stay at home and play Connect 4?

Is it okay to get drunk?

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A pertinent question, considering that though it is a time of joy and festivity, you still are in the company of your family.

Finally, why are people talking about Christmas?

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I’ve had enough of this. Why don’t you dedicate November to Thanksgiving like you dedicated October to Halloween and keep Christmas for December?