Eggs: an unlikely but accurate (we swear) predictor of personality and sexual preference. Whether you’re just browsing through yolk porn or already feeling a little hard-boiled, there’s no doubt you’ll feel the connection between how you get your eggs and the way you want to get it.
Sunny Side Up – Missionary
It’s easy, it’s satisfying, and there’s always two concentric circles facing the ceiling. It’s familiar in all the right ways with tons of options to spice it up (Sriracha, switching angles, totally your call).
Over-Easy – Coital Alignment Technique (CAT)
More on that angle thing – as over-easy is to sunny side up, CAT is to missionary: done just a little bit more. If you like that egg flipped over before it’s served, you’ll definitely be a fan of how CAT is missionary with a touch of finesse.
Scrambled – Doggy Style
Like doggy style, scrambled eggs are a great way to get what you want quickly and without a ton of technique. Light, easy, and fast-paced, both the sex position and the egg preparation are a great way to start off your day.
Hard-Boiled – Quickie
Like a good one-and-done, hard-boiled eggs are meant for somebody on a mission. Have your cake (by the ocean) and eat it too with this time-saving, protein-packed way to get you out the door (or out of bed) ASAP.
Poached – In the Shower
They’re super hard to make perfectly, but the payoff is worth the effort. Similarly, shower sex is complicated and a little more slippery/dangerous than we’d like to admit, but not many things can compare to it when it’s done right.
Omelet – Oral
Make what you want of either of these – an omelet is basically an excuse to make an egg taco with any filling that you could imagine, and oral is pretty much the same concept. Want to throw 9 different kinds of cheese inside your egg tortilla? Go for it. Want to get some hands up in there? Be our guest.
In a Burrito – Spooning
Get as cozy as your eggs inside of a breakfast burrito with this position. Both are perfect for the AM to ease into the day without going too far out of the ordinary (or having to look your partner in the face with sleep eyes/morning breath).
Chilaquiles – 69
Some like it spicy, but sometimes it’s a little too spicy and things get weird (i.e. face reddening or uncontrollable sweating). Foreign, perhaps a little bit over the top, but likely to be ordered more than once in a lifetime.
Raw – BDSM
Can cause painful side effects; it’s kind of weird but some people are into it. Take this one as you will.