To those who love St. Paddy’s Day even if it’s an Americanized holiday, especially out here in MA. To the proud Irish even if it’s only 1/16th. To the one’s who get giddy at the color, Kelley green. To the Blarney Blackout (oops I mean Blowout – ers) here at UMass Amherst.
To the bar and pub crawlers who will be camped out all during the 17th. And to my personal favorite, the oh-so festive Boston St. Patrick’s Day paraders.
We know that this day tends to have a heavy beverage consumption, and what you’ll be consuming (legally and safely of course) can say a lot about you.
Light Liquor: For the lighthearted
Okay so it’s safe to assume you’re not huge on this holiday since mixed drinks and shots don’t exactly scream festive. But hey, that’s all right too because you just like to drink.
You tend to be the life of the party, and dance to the beat of your own drum. You just simply enjoy having a good time regardless of the occasion and people admire your lighthearted spirit.
Be careful though, don’t get too caught up in the St. Paddy’s Day festivities. This holiday tend to be a marathon instead of a sprint when it comes to alcohol consumption. I’d be sure to check in with our other clear, liquid friend: water.
Tequila: For the wild
Woah woah woah slow down, buddy. I know, you’re prematurely excited for Cinco de Mayo and that’s typical of you. You are a trendsetter just by being yourself and doing, wearing, and drinking whatever you enjoy. You are naturally one step ahead of the game which can be intimidating to some people.
The lack of St. Paddy’s day tradition in tequila shots, salt, and lime don’t bother you. You’re different and you’re proud of it. Despite the confused looks people might give when you’re walking around with your friend José, someone will want a shot later, and you’ll be more than happy to oblige.
Wine: For the classy
At first glance, people might assume you’re just a calm, sophisticated person who knows what they like. Wine? On St. Patrick’s Day?
For those of you who aren’t familiar with a little Boston history, bear with me while I crudely explain a small piece of an old Boston wive’s tale. The story goes that the Irish and the Italian used to have gang fights over turf throughout the city, and in turn weren’t too fond of one another because of these disputes.
This epitomizes your subtle rebellious side not many people are aware of. Psshh, beer just because of one day? Nope, you’ll stick to your beloved wine. Yeah you might be classy and responsible but we aren’t fooled. Keep doing you, we see you, and we like it.
Beer: For the lively
To the all-year round beer lovers, Erin go Bragh. Irish or not, this day was pretty much made for you. Whether you’re sipping your usual Bud Light, or you opt for a more festive Guinness, you’re going to have a good time.
You’re reliable, down to earth and pretty much everyone likes you. I mean what’s not to like? You can adapt to any situation which means you’re always a good friend to have around. Now go slug some beers and pretend to be Irish for a day or two.
To my once – a – year, “only drink beer for the 4th of July and St. Paddy’s Day” beer drinkers; I applaud your dedication. You’re probably only drinking beer today because you’re Irish and it only feels right. You’re a person who’s adventurous and always ready to try something new. You’re a free spirit who remains optimistic when something doesn’t go you way.
People love having you around because you’re always down for whatever the day brings. Okay so beer isn’t your favorite drink, but how can you resist on such a festive holiday?
Dark Liquor: For the bold
Wow. You really went for it this year, straight to the Jameson. You are brave, strong, some might even say fearless. You are especially passionate about the things you care about, and St. Patrick’s Day is no different.
Your bold yet mysterious aura makes many people curious about you, and for good reason. You tend to be on the quiet side despite the your strong sense of self , at least until you’ve had a few too many whiskey-straights.
Make sure your anger doesn’t get the best of you this holiday. Here at UMass we’re already on thin ice with the Blarney antics. And if you’re going to be celebrating in Boston, be sure to watch out for those rowdy Irish pubs buzzing with post parade hype.
Water: For everyone
All right so if this is your beverage of choice today, you’re either underaged, alcohol isn’t your thing, a relative sent you this link, or you’re recovering from a pre St. Paddy’s party last night. That’s all right, we know that you tend to be very responsible and practical.
You do not let other’s dictate your decisions and that’s the way you like it. People genuinely enjoy your presence and everyone is better off with you around.
Whether you’re switching every other drink for some water, or sipping it with your corned beef and cabbage, I highly suggest incorporating this beverage into your rounds this year. You’ll thank me the morning of the 18th.