It’s that time of year again, where only the most eligible men appear on TV. And like the first impression rose, some of the contenders seem oddly familiar, like one of your favorite foods perhaps. Will Jojo find her perfect match among these diverse personalities? Is an erectile disfunction specialist even an occupation? I guess only time will tell.
To help ease our anxiety looking toward the next episode, here are some initial (food) reactions I got from the contestants that made it through the first and second round.
Chad: 28, Luxury real estate agent from Tulsa, OK
Chad seems dangerous, just like those tempting late-night munchies. We all know Dominos seems so worth it in the moment but will instantly leave us feeling regretful later.
In the first episode, Chad seemed just like a guy looking for love, but after the second episode, it looks like he may cause some problems in the future. I mean, you can’t succumb to those late-night cravings forever without consequences, am I right?
Vinny: 28, Barber from Delray Beach, FL
Vinny seems like a sweet, familiar guy, like the Olive Garden commercials that don’t really seem to ever go away. His drunken act of stumbling into Jojo’s solo interview and his anxiety during the first rose ceremony resembles the buttery breadsticks served at Olive Garden – always present, but not detrimental to the whole meal.
Grant: 28, Firefighter from San Francisco, CA
Grant’s smolder and chiseled features immediately recalls Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. It just so happens that he is also a firefighter, which elevates his Cheetos status to Flaming Hot, obviously. Grant isn’t afraid to walk through fire during his quest to find love, as proven during the group date.
James Taylor: 29, Singer-songwriter from Katy, TX
James’ musical entrance and country accent had me thinking of some sweet barbecue ribs. He may not be THE James Taylor, but with the right dressing and qualities, I think he has potential for greatness like your favorite bbq food.
Daniel: 31, Canadian from Vancouver, B.C., Canada
The fact that Daniel’s occupation is solely “Canadian” is pretty confusing. His dedication to his country could be considered admirable, or maybe mysterious. Daniel seemed slimy as he got himself into some sticky situations throughout the first episode and took Chad’s side in the second episode, resembling the syrup that is hard to get off your fingers.
Ali: 21, Bartender from Santa Monica, CA
Ali seems nice, energetic and multi-talented, like the multi-flavors and characteristics of a KIND bar. With his large eyebrows and speedy piano playing skills, Ali offers a new dimension to the list of men that Jojo has fighting for the final rose.
James F.: 34, Boxing club owner from Nashville, TN
James made the mistake of wearing a black button down with a black jacket in the first episode. This outfit decision recalls a bad high school prom look, similar to the basic elementary school meal: lunchables. Luckily, James, there is still time to redeem yourself in the upcoming episodes.
Wells: 31, Radio DJ from Nashville, TN
Bringing a quartet to the first episode was clever and original, but it overshadowed Wells’ personality. Due to this, I had to base solely on looks, and for some reason, Wells seemed very similar to asparagus.
This association continued in the second episode as he seemed weak while trying to compete as a firefighter; however, this vulnerability grabbed Jojo’s attention. Not all hope is lost for this asparagus.
Nick B.: 33, Electrical engineer from Fort Lauderdale, FL
Nick B. came in confident and mysterious as Saint Nick. Due to his ever present costume the whole night, Nick B. reminds me of a box of chocolates. Until one tests it out, there’s no way to know what it’s like. Let’s hope that doesn’t means he wears the Santa outfit for the rest of his time on The Bachelor.
Alex: 26, U.S. Marine from Oceanside, CA
Alex had an aggressive start to the night as he tried to prove his worthiness of a rose by doing push-ups with Jojo sitting on his back. Like the average gym buff, Alex must strongly believe in protein powder. With those moves, I am not sure if he’s meant to be on American Ninja Warrior or The Bachelor.
Luke: 31, War veteran from Burnet, TX
Despite looking like a villain in his headshot, it seems as if Luke is too good to be true in reference to the first episode. He seems like a good ole country boy with a big heart and dedicated to serving our country reminding me of the traditional apple pie.
Robert “Robby”: 27, Former competitive swimmer from Jacksonville, FL
Robby brought wine for Jojo, which immediately gives him an advantage in my book. Seems like Robby is a classy guy who would be into a romantic wine and cheese night. I mean, if wine isn’t the way to a girl’s heart (and rose), I don’t know what is.
Chase: 27, Medical sales representative from Highlands Ranch, CO
Chase continues to be a mystery after last Monday’s episode, like an obscure Lays flavor that we aren’t really sure we’re going to like. We haven’t heard from him much, like how I haven’t heard much about the Chicken n’ Waffles flavored chips.
However, he did prove creativity by recreating a snow scene during his one-on-one time with Jojo. I’m seeing some potential here.
Christian: 26, Telecom consultant from Los Angeles, CA
Christian’s dinner with his brothers during his introduction makes me think that he is a true family man. With his introduction and bright smile, Christian seems like a devoted brother and businessman. Despite not having a conventional upbringing, he recalls a classic Thanksgiving meal of turkey and mashed potatoes.
Derek: 29, Commercial bankers from Fort Lauderdale, FL
The only thing I really remember about Derek is his nerves and claim that he resembled Harry Potter when he was younger. Well, Derek, you’ve come a long way. But he’s still clinging on to that Harry Potter identity, like the array of jelly bean flavors taken from the series.
Evan: 33, Erectile dysfunction specialist from Nashville, TN
Not exactly sure where to begin with Evan. Evan resembles a catfish, a dish that sadly no one ever chooses over the other options on the menu. He also looks like he could be on the show Catfish. All around I am a little confused by Evan and the potential for a future connection with Jojo.
Jordan: 27, Former pro quarterback, Chino, CA
Struggling to break free from his older brother’s shadow, Jordan is trying to find love in his own way. Just like a new Ben & Jerry’s flavor trying to make its mark in the world, Jordan is looking for a new identity himself with a woman by his side.
All in all, I think that Jojo has some interesting contenders in the mix for this season. I’m not sure what food is Jojo’s preference but there are definitely some appetizing options.