The hilarious sitcom Friends premiered nationally on September 22, 1994, a whopping 22 (!!) years ago. At that time, the world was a different place. It was a place without iPhones and GPS and Netflix and hybrid cars.
I’ve often wondered how the series would be different if it were set today. Over the course of the of Friends, the characters spent an extremely large amount of time at their favorite local coffee shop.
Today, New York City is home to almost 300 different Starbucks locations, which gives me the sneaking suspicion that it would very well be the gang’s modern hangout of choice. And if this were the case, it begs the question: what would Rachel, Ross, Chandler, Monica, Joey and Phoebe be ordering?
Well, that’s what I’m here to tell you.
Rachel Green – Iced Blonde Doubleshot
Rachel is sophisticated, stylish, and at times, a little bit of a brat — she does what she wants. Certainly, Rachel would be the kind of gal to drink iced coffee year round, regardless of how ridiculous that may seem. Her drink would be light yet classy, just like this espresso drink with a touch of milk. Plus, the blonde roast would go perfectly with her signature blonde locks.
Ross Geller – Pike Place Coffee with Milk and Sugar That Is Too Hot And Burns Him
Ross is just an awkward yet lovable paleontologist trying to make it in this big, bad world. From his multiple divorces to his mishaps with Rachel to his struggles with carrying couches, he seems to constantly find himself in unlucky and unfortunate situations.
Ross would show up for some quick Starbucks with the gang before work and order a simple, classic drink, but then in typical Ross fashion, he would probably trip or stumble and spill his coffee all over himself. They would probably misspell the name on his cup, too.
Chandler Bing – Pumpkin Spice Latte
Chandler is certainly not someone who you would describe as “masculine.” He is physically quite weak, is often confused when watching sports, and has made numerous mentions of participating in childhood activities like dance. And in his marriage, Monica most definitely wears the pants.
His most iconic trait is his sarcasm, as he is constantly making witty remarks to everyone that he meets. Chandler is the kind of guy who would mock the pumpkin spice latte fad, order one ironically, and then discover that it’s the single most delicious thing he has ever tasted.
Monica Geller – Half Whole Milk, One Quarter 1%, One Quarter Non-Fat, Extra Hot, Double Shot, No Foam Latte with Whip, 2 Packets of Splenda, 1 Pump Sugar-Free Hazelnut Syrup and 3 Short Sprinkles of Cinnamon
Monica is organized, clean, and hyper-competitive. She knows what she likes and she knows exactly how she likes it. She does not like when people disregard her demands and she refuses to settle for nothing less than the best.
Monica would no doubt have an extremely complicated and specific coffee order, and she would strike fear into the hearts of Starbucks baristas throughout all of New York City.
#SpoonTip: Don’t be the person at Starbucks doing this, and don’t be any of these people either.
Joey Tribbiani – Caramel Turtle Frappuccino and Dessert
Throughout Friends, Joey makes his strong affinity for food extremely clear. He loves to eat and he is quite unapologetic about it. Anyone that knows Joey knows that JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD.
Joey would walk into Starbucks and order some something sugary, sweet, covered in whipped cream, and comparable to a milkshake: a frappuccino. And then, because that would be nowhere near filling for him, he would order an equally decadent dessert like a brownie, doughnut, cookie, or slice of cake. I also have a feeling that he would have the entire frappuccino secret menu memorized.
Phoebe Buffay – Cold-Pressed Organic Sweet Greens and Ginger Juice
Phoebe is her own person. She does whatever she wants to do, regardless of what anyone else thinks. A free spirit with a signature hippie-bobo-chic style, Phoebe would probably be on a vegan or raw foods only diet if Friends took place today.
You know those healthy looking green drinks that you always glance at while you’re pretending not to stare at the dessert case at Starbucks? That’s what Phoebe would be sipping on.