I have always wanted to take a mixology course to add to my resume, so writing this article was the next best thing. You can try these drinks over Spring break, or any day of the week, really. You do you. Here's what drink you should try over Spring Break, according to your major.
Business and Economics: Natty Light
You’re strategic, you’re thinking supply and demand, and need the most economically efficient drink for your frat party. Not only does Natty Light fit all your requirements, but you also get to brag that you’re drinking the first beer brand in space. It won’t look as good as the beer in this picture, but you’re getting what you paid for.
English: Irish Coffee
“Write drunk, edit sober.” Apparently, these words were not actually uttered by Ernest Hemingway, but that doesn’t make them any less true. What makes them false is that no one on the internet seems to agree with them, but I say go for it. Coffee and whiskey is the perfect combination of caffeine and alcohol, and therefore the most conducive to efficient work. Honestly, though, I’m a political science major, so don’t trust my scientific opinion.
History: Old Fashioned
It’s traditional, a classic. It reminds you of dusty books, leather couches, and a large oak desk. Yes, you were born into the wrong century, but at least you can drink like you weren’t.
Political Science: Four Loko
Regardless of your political views, you can agree that 2016 was a roller coaster you'd like to forget. Between trying to explain the Electoral College and keeping up with every news update, the emotional stress will drive you to shotgun a can or two. You don't even have to worry about it being illegal in some states, since you're probably pre-law and can work around that.
Education: Cookie Shots
You like kids, and kids like cookies and milk. It just makes sense. You spend so much time with people who aren’t your age that you forgot what a bar looks like, but you still need something to keep you entertained on your summer breaks. It has the word “shot” in it, so it counts, right?
150 proof - 18th Amendment = the best way to get over your multivariable calc test. It’s simple math.
You only spend time with other engineers, but you still need to have fun once in awhile. You only talk about engineering though, so your drink needs to remind you that your major is way harder than everyone else’s. Shots are out of the question because you’re too busy preparing for an actual career, but a mixed drink will do. By the way, did you get 5B for question 23?
Red wine is proven to be beneficial for neurogenesis, the production of new neurons. Apparently it contains a property called resveratrol that promotes the survival of these new neurons. Basically, this is all a fancy way of saying that neuroscience majors need some red wine in their lives. Small doses are recommended, but you can overlook that technicality. You're only a college student, after all.
If you’re tired of people asking you to read their minds, absinthe is the drink for you. Although absinthe doesn’t actually have any hallucinogenic properties, there aren’t many recorded psychological experiments on it. This gives you a the perfect excuse to drink in the name of science, and at 110 to 144 proof, you’re bound to have a good time either way.
Biology: Body Shots
You’re either interested in the body or plants, and for the sake of keeping everyone awake, we’re going to assume it’s the body. You’re into anatomy, but mainly Grey’s Anatomy, so you’re probably pre-med too. We all know how much Meredith loves tequila, and you’re just trying to live vicariously through her.
Right now, you’re probably procrastinating studying for orgo. In an hour or so, you’ll get so stressed that you’ll end up going out, but technically you’re still studying the body, so that counts for something.
Chemistry: Jell-O Shots
Jell-O is apparently made through a chemical reaction that's more complicated than I would have liked. Long story short, it’s “a complex matrix of loosely water and gelatin strings, all stuck together to form a semi-solid.” What I gathered from this is that Jell-O is the perfect combination between chemistry and alcohol. You literally get to geek out about hydrogen bonds while taking shots.
Pre-Med: Smirnoff Ice
You’re pre-med, and everyone knows it. You’re the last to arrive and the first to leave the pregame, because “orgo, research, and MCAT, duh.” You’re competitive and Type A though, so you won’t let others outdrink you. You chug that Smirnoff Ice to make yourself feel like you’re drinking, but you can’t get too crazy because we all know you’re going straight back to the library after this.
Computer Science: Appletini
Appletini, Apple. The connection is obvious. You’re stressed because your code isn’t working, and you need to unwind because people only call you to fix their computers (if you could let me know how to free up memory on my laptop, that would be fabulous). People think you stay up eating junk food and hacking anything and everything, but you’re honestly just trying to figure out Java while holding a classy green drink.
Accounting is so dry that you’ll want to pick up a bottle of water while you draw up the balance statement. Drinking water has been proven to relieve the symptoms associated with debits and credits: it raises energy levels, improves brain function, and alleviates headaches. If you're feeling crazy, you could also try a virgin gin and tonic, but don’t drink too much or you’ll forget the difference between the ledger and the journal.
Communications: All Of The Above
All of the above, because you’re studying Communications and need to take an artsy picture of every drink for your Instagram account.
Drink safely. Especially you, education majors.