Weekend brunch is no joke here in Victoria, BC. Honestly, it's no joke anywhere. The amount of top notch brunch restaurants around the downtown core is almost overwhelming, but no matter where you and your friends end up this weekend you're going to have to deal with what I like to call "The 5 Stages of Weekend Brunch Remorse". Following are the 5 events that anyone in Victoria looking to get their Eggs Benny fix on a weekend will inevitably endure.
The 5 Stages of Weekend Brunch Remorse
Stage 1: Waking up extra early to beat the line, no matter how hungover I am because it'll all be worth it when I'm sitting pretty, munching on a goat cheese omelette, and wearing sunglasses inside looking like an incognito local celebrity.
Stage 2: Jokes. I was far too hopeful in stage 1. Without a doubt there is one straggler in the group –*cough* Janice *cough*– that pushes back the plans by at least an hour. Now the group is stuck in the throng of other brunch-goers.
Stage 3: While I'm waiting in line it will inevitably start raining because that's just what Victoria does. And while there may be a small sitting area inside the restaurant for visitors, my group is situated so far back the restaurant door is only visible if I brought my magnifying glass.
Stage 4: I've finally made it to the front of the line. The moments when next up are crucial. It's when I'm able to peer through the windows and see what everyone else has been ordering. I'm also close enough to smell the delicious brunch aroma wafting towards me reinstalling my lost faith in this whole weekend brunch endeavour.
Stage 5: Now that I thoroughly feel the hunger I'm officially seated and ordering way more food than necessary, and once I take the first bite I'll realize that all the past stages were completely worth it and no doubt you'll find me back in the brunch line next weekend complaining just to pass the time.