Most people consider lobster a grand seafood luxury—a luxury that has no rightful place at McDonald’s. A friend of mine considers this “special” the same as a toilet paper manufacturer’s production of wedding invitations. I think that’s harsh, but I will admit there’s some horror in the thought of the world’s largest chain of hamburger fast food restaurants mass-producing lobster rolls.
If you experience the same fright that most people do when they consider eating this item—read on. Because this weekend I travelled to the nearest McDonald’s and decided that I would put a stop to the apprehension; I would terminate the conjectural revulsion; I would reveal the truth about the lobster roll from McDonald’s ONCE AND FOR ALL by eating the damn thing and writing eloquently about it.
Just kiddin’ I had my friend eat the entire thing (well, I bit it) because I hate lobster. But I took extensive notes.
So, we limped into McDicks—it was supposed to be a pimp walk— and went straight up to the register. Might have cut a few people, not sure. Too focused.
I stared at the picture of the lobster roll on the menu above the kitchen—$7.99, 290 calories, made with 100% real North Atlantic Lobster. My first thought: that’s a damn cheap lobster roll. My second: 290 calories is a SNACK.
Next I told Gina (the cashier) that I’d “take one of those lobster rolls.” I scanned her face for any sign of shock. Nothing.
Two minutes later a man behind the counter called out “lobster roll!” I swear I remember getting some dirty looks. And some pure wtf looks. #whateverforever I walked up to the counter and took my tray.
Part 3: Moment(s) of Truth
When my friend and I opened the box, the warm bun enclosing the lobster vented the delicious, signature aroma of McDonald’s bread. So far, so good.
- Nice warm bun
- Crunchy, cold lettuce
- Huge claw in the middle = fantastic
Two bites later
- Meat tastes surprisingly fresh
- Enjoy the fact that the meat is cool, not warm
- Other than claw, tastes like cheap lobster version of tuna salad
- Again, good lettuce
- Seems small, but is filling
So, there ya go. A decent, cheap lobster roll that’s filling, yet under 300 calories, is waiting for you at McDick’s and WE DARE YOU TO TRY IT.