God Bless America: land of the buy one, get one free and the home of the Beer-lympics. A place where its citizens are proud to vote every four years for one of the most important leaders of the free world — the President of the United States.
Every election seems to be more and more interesting than the last. The higher integration of social media into every day life has young Americans more informed and more curious than ever about political platforms.
But what if these platforms were explained in food?
Donald Trump — Flamin’ Hot Cheetos
Donald Trump is the final standing presidential candidate for the Republican party, making him the presumptive nominee. He makes headlines every single day by doing things in the strangest of ways — and by pissing people off.
His platform, includes “The Wall” (seriously, that’s all it says on the website), immigration reform, and VA reform. I can see Donald’s platform as a Flamin’ Hot Cheetos because he not only looks like a Cheetos, but his ideas are fiery and unusual. His platform has gotten millions of Americans fired up — in one way or the other — like very few politicians before him have done.
Imagine if they made that wall out of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.
Hillary Clinton — Everything Bagel
Hillary Clinton has been described in this campaign as that weird aunt that wants to be hip but doesn’t really know how, so she’s just saying things that she heard on Vine. She wants so bad to relate to America’s youth, but it’s just not happening for her for the most part.
Her platform (which is like super long btw, longer than the last three candidates) includes lowering the cost of college, criminal justice reform, raising awareness and helping LGBT equality, and helping small businesses.
For this, I have hereby declared Hillary’s campaign an everything bagel. She has a million ideas going on, just like an everything bagel, and wants so bad to be relevant with the kids. Unfortunately, there’s another more fun and exciting circular breakfast food that’s getting the kids excited.
Senator Bernie Sanders — Macaroni and Cheese
Senator Sanders is a simple man. His platform includes ideas such as raising minimum wage, racial justice, and women’s rights, which have been important issues in past elections. Because Bernie is fighting for timeless American issues, Senator Sanders’ platform is like macaroni and cheese. He appeals to the youth of America, and he is timeless just like the cheesy american treat. He is good for the young and the old, for any race, gender, orientation, wealth level, and community — just like mac and cheese.
It doesn’t matter who you vote for, as long as you vote, because we’re lucky to be citizens of a pretty cool country.