This is it. You can just feel it. This is the moment when you you’re about to lean in for the kiss, the strand of spaghetti hanging loosely between your two sets of lips, straight out of the Disney movie. And then it happens… Bam.
Your side of the strand comes slipping out unexpectantly, crazily flailing like a grandma on a water slide. You watch it happen in slow motion: the noodle falling away from you , the splatters of sauce acrobatting through the air, your heartbeat racing as you witness the collision with the white prep-school collared shirt.
Goodbye hipster haircut, we had a nice run.
There are definitely some essential factors you should take into consideration when choosing the cuisine for your first few dates with someone. There are plenty of calories you can consume daintily, like salad, soup, chicken or steak, yet there are others you should certainly avoid if you are trying to attract your dream suitor (or even just the intriguing individual behind the laptop screen in your bio class).
Photo by Kirby Barth
Smelly
I know you think it’ll be fine if you just chew gum after that French Onion soup, but it won’t be. Steer clear of any food with a lingering potency like garlic or onion if you’re hoping to use up your gift card to this restaurant with her again.
Photo by Kathleen Lee
Sticky
You’re craving the half-rack of ribs glistening in the freshly coated barbecue sauce, dripping from each of your fingers. And yes, you deserve these ribs. But if you intend on holding any hands after you come out of your meat-induced coma, you’ll wish you had chosen an item on the menu that didn’t require 7 moist towelettes.
Photo Courtesy of New Meadows Lobster
Squirty
Ew, really? If you even need to contemplate this momentarily, or if this word even fleetingly brushes the outskirts of your thoughts when the waiter arrives at the table, do not do it. The word itself is just unappetizing, and even more vomit-inducing is the look on your date’s face when you triumphantly crack the shell of the lobster after multiple painstaking attempts.
Because he is not in fact proud—he is temporarily blinded by the buttery bullet from your crustacean that just catapulted into his eye.
If you want to avoid stealing all of the complimentary mints from the bathroom or trying to slyly convert your napkin into a piece of floss, you should generally avoid these types of foods on your first few dates.
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