Taco Bell is one of the only reasons I am proud to call myself an American. It is just so damn good. You can literally eat it for breakfast, lunch, dinner, or even a three a.m. pick-me-up. But, within the abyss that is the menu, there are a few nasty things. Things you would only give to your worst enemy and/or an annoying cousin.
1. Pintos N Cheese
Is it just me or do beans and cheese sound gnarly together. Not only would the texture be a mushy mess, but also there is literally no way to make it better. You can try adding toppings, but something crunchy would just be weird in there.
2. Spicy Ranch Sauce
For starters, ranch dressing has got to be the most white people food on the planet. Taco Bell tried to minimize that by making it spicy ... but it's not a good look. Sometimes two beautiful entities are just not meant to be together, like chocolate and mango, or polar bears and a beach vacation.
3. Double Stacked Tacos- Spicy Sweet
Again with the weird combinations, Taco Bell! Sweet and Spicy chips are bomb, but adding beans, meat and lettuce does not seem like a win. Also, I have heard people rave about the nacho cheese and cool ranch flavors, but never the spicy sweet- wonder why?
4. Mexican Pizza
Stay in your lane, Taco Bell. Let Papa John's run the pizza game. Ain't nobody want Mexican pizza. Not only am I confused about what the crust would be, but what would the sauce be? Is this just like nachos? Why not stick to nachos?
5. Mountain Dew Kickstart Orange Citrus
This item really doesn't sound that bad, but the thing that gets me is that it is on the breakfast menu. To be honest, this sounds like my fifth-grade self's heaven, but now it just repulses me.
All in all, I still love Taco Bell very much, and while these odd items exist, they are not odd enough to make me stay away. I'm not even sorry.