Not only is Halloween an excuse for kids everywhere to eat as much candy as possible, but it is also an opportunity to dress up, stay up late, and hang out with your friends—even when Halloween fell on a school night. At the end of the night, after strategically hitting up all of the houses that were known for doling out king-size candy bars, I remember counting and comparing all of my candy and inevitably trading the stuff I never planned to eat.
Nothing was a bigger buzzkill then stumbling upon that piece of fruit or box of raisins that the more health-conscious neighbors felt the need to give out.
This year, I decided to ask some of my friends at UVA for examples of the lamest "treats" they were given on Halloween in place of candy. With that, here are their answers:
1. A toothbrush
Thank you to every neighborhood dentist. But don't be a buzzkill and just accept that November will involve a lot of cavities.
Just why? People hardly ever want raisins and Halloween is no exception.
3. A fortune
Fortunes are only exciting when they come with a cookie. Or when referring to money.
4. A granola bar
Nope. Not interested.
5. Asian food
Don't get me wrong, I love Asian food, just not on Halloween. And definitely not anywhere near the candy—the spill risk is simply too high.
6. A banana
Unless it's a banana split, we're not interested. Even a banana Laffy Taffy would be a disappointment.
I wouldn't actually mind this one all that much. But still...Goldfish?
Come on, people. Halloween is about sweet treats, not savory snacks.
The only time kids get excited about pencils is...never. Pencils are reminders of standardized tests and math class.
Orange you glad it wasn't a banana? No.
11. Dental Floss
We get it, too much candy is bad for your teeth. But not trick-or-treating is probably bad for your health.
12. Finger Trap
The "trick" option shouldn't actually be taken seriously. Let the kids enjoy their "treats" in peace.
Thankfully, the good usually far outweighed the lame. And now that we're "all grown up," we can laugh about the lame treats and vow to never be that neighbor.