As winter begins its slow and steady trudge towards us over here on the west coast, it brings many things with it. Cold weather, sweaters, the holidays, and many more things that I love. But the one thing I can't bring myself to look forward to? Hot drinks.
I simply cannot get myself to have the love for hot drinks that everyone else seems to have, for exactly these reasons:
1. They burn your tongue
This is the struggle that every single person who has taste-tested their hot drink and burnt their tongue feels. Even the slightest touch of the burning hot liquid to your tongue can leave a painful burn that is completely disproportionate to the amount actually ingested. I've had burns that lasted for over a week and even affected my ability to taste.
To have my eating affected by one little splash of coffee? Tragic
Seriously, has anyone figured out the right formula to finding the perfect time to have a hot drink? The reason for all those painful tongue burns is because of the difficulty in finding out when to drink your coffee. And then, once you finally hit that sweet spot of warmth, there are about five minutes to gulp it all down before it gets uncomfortably cold.
3. The all-too real struggle of carrying a hot drink
Walking to class with a hot drink in hand in the winter is just an absolute mess. Liquid always comes spilling out of the awkwardly-open cups, splashing onto clothes and books, and the warmth from the cup is only bearable for a short amount of time unless it's absolutely freezing out. I would rather be carrying my securely-lidded iced drink any day, thank you.
I am a passionate advocate of straw drinking, a far less messy and much quicker way to drink almost anything. Yet, with a hot drink, be wary of even attempting to use a straw. Until you get to that near-impossible-to-hit sweet spot, the straw is likely to completely melt into the drink before you even taste it. Talk about disappointing.
5. They are too seasonal
If you live anywhere, like Arizona, where it gets to temperatures of about 110 degrees Fahrenheit in the summer, then you know that the idea of drinking something even mildly warm is laughable. In many parts of the country like this, iced drinks are a year round delight.
Truly, unless you're somewhere where it's near freezing, iced drinks are bearable in the winter. But hot drinks in the summer? Don't even think about it. Hot drinks have one season where they can be enjoyed, making their presence far less significant than iced drinks'. And who could go without Frappuccinos for so long?
6. They aren't as tasty. Period.
In my opinion, hot drinks all taste the same with a mildly distinguishable aftertaste. The heat combined with the original brewed flavor overpowers the majority of the goodness added into the drink to make it its own.
So yeah, you hot drink people may have your pumpkin spice, but we cold drink lovers have Frappuccinos(!!), iced coffee, Starbucks Refreshers, and more. Fight us.