'Tis the season to be...in a relationship? Since when was that a thing? Apparently, the holidays foster a time of giving, celebrating and relationship-ing, because it's not so easy for all the single people out there. Aside from traveling home by yourself blasting Kelly Clarkson's "Miss Independent," here are a few other things that all the single ladies and gents have to deal with on Thanksgiving.
1. The questions are a total buzzkill.
"Who's that man in your profile picture?" My friend. He's married. "Are you seeing anyone?" No. Stop asking. I’m seeing pizza every night and now I’m seeing turkey. Go away.
2. Everyone else at the dinner table is in a relationship.
Except for your 7-year-old cousin who keeps asking you why you don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend yet.
3. All the couples are eternally grateful for each other.
When the time comes to go around and reluctantly recite what you’re all grateful for, everyone says they're thankful for their wonderful significant other. Why can’t you just say good health?
4. Why am I eating so much more than everyone else?
Oh that’s right. I’m eating my feelings.
5. Aunt Mel will ask 50 times if you're in a relationship.
Again, the answer is no.
6. Good God, someone just hung up the mistletoe.
Isn’t this supposed to be a Christmas tradition? I’m going to go grab the cat.
7. This is my third plate and I feel no shame.
Is Cousin Jay’s new girlfriend seriously eating a salad right now? I may be single but at least I know how to eat.
8. I’ll check my phone to escape all the awkwardness.
No new texts. Just a notification of Mom tagging me in a picture that will re-remind me that I’m the only single person in the family. Except my 7-year-old cousin, of course.
9. Maybe I’ll be single forever.
Problem solved, everybody. Now where’s the pumpkin pie?
Maybe this year when it's time to talk about food, gratitude and all the lovey-dovey things that make you want to throw up, you'll find condolence in the fact that you're not the only single one out there. You may be the only one on the market at your dinner table, but at least you've come to terms with your relationship status. So keep a good sense of humor about it, dig in and enjoy the food. That's all that matters anyway, right?