Photo by Man Repeller

Social media outlets buzzed with Kelly MacLean’s unprecedented uncannily accurate description of what it’s really like to shop at Whole Foods. Apparently it’s a lot like going to Vegas: “you go there to feel good but you leave broke, disoriented, and with the newfound knowledge that you have a vaginal disease.” Which is everything we’ve ever really wanted from our grocery shopping experience, right? For vegans, vegetarians, and gluten-avoiders this article can be insulting if you don’t have a sense of humor, as tweeters made evident after the publication of the article. For those with a sense of humor, this is a hysterically truthful piece of work on how insane we must be to shop consistently at Whole Foods.

Not cool, USDA, not cool.

2-chainz-cookbook-album

Photo by Dylan Trakz

This past week, 2 Chainz released his new album, B.O.A.T.S. 2# Metime. Anticipating that his listeners would inevitably want to cook while listening to his new album 2 Chainz has also released a cookbook, #MealTime in junction with his new album.  When you purchase the deluxe album you also receive a 26-page digital version of the cookbook. Finally, somebody accommodates your collection of chains and rings and affinity for rap into recipes for “lightened up southern food” like Garlicky Green Beans and Mixed Seafood Skewers. 2 Chainz has got your back:

“YOU’RE ON THE ROAD AND YOU’RE HUNGRY. 2 CHAINZ HAS BEEN THERE, AND NOW HE’S REACHING INTO HIS DEEP, FLAVORFUL POCKETS TO HOOK YOU UP WITH THE RECIPES YOU’LL NEED FOR YOUR TIME OUT ON THE ROAD.”

 

drakes_cakes_650x300_a01_12

Photo by Retroland

Yodels, Ring Dings, and Devil Dogs – these are the funny names for funny treats of memories past. Luckily for us (and McKee Foods, Little Debbie’s manfucaturer) nostalgia has great marketing potential and after a brief hiatus accompanying the whole Twinkie bankruptcy fiasco, our local grocery store shelves will be stocked with childhood memories once again starting September 23rd.

Michelle Obama

Photo by Washington Post

Our favorite First Lady, Michelle Obama held the first ever White House convening on Food Marketing to Children last Wednesday. In the face of reductions to the SNAP program and the general negligence towards establishing a healthful food system, Mrs. Obama is pulling all the weight there is to ensure that our children are well-fed and healthy without the negative influences of marketing of unhealthy foods. She also impresses us with her humor, ability to read minds, predict the future, and her general being awesome:

So there might be those out there whose strategy is to just wait this out — folks who might still be thinking to themselves, well, in a few years, this lady will be gone — (laughter) — and this whole Let’s Move thing will finally be over, so we can go back to business as usual.  And I know that none of you here are thinking that way.  (Laughter.)  But if you know anyone who is — (laughter) — you might want to remind them that I didn’t create this issue, and it’s not going to go away three and a half years from now when I’m no longer First Lady.

Dumpling Man!

Photo by The NYC Big Adventure

The New York CIty Dumpling Festival will be taking place this weekend on September 28 from 12 -5pm. Admission is free but tickets for food will cost $20. Proceeds will be donated to the Food Bank of New York City. Dumpling offerings will range from pot stickers to perogies. Altruistic dumpling eating? We’re in.