A proudly boasted aspect of Rochester culture is our cuisine, the most notable of which is the Garbage Plate. A rather intriguing name, this dish beckons people from all corners of the world to our great city. But what’s so special about it, anyway? Check out these unique ingredients that make the Rochester gourmet ever better.
1. Last week’s Panda bowl
Well, we can’t eat such a prestigious dish off the floor, can we? Allow the tangy goodness of last week’s Chinese food container to age like fine wine — every Rochesterian knows this is the way to get that added umph of flavor.
2. Your WRT 105 paper
We take recycling seriously here at the University of Rochester. Not one single paper, no matter how hard we may have hardly worked on it, shall go to waste. Garbage Plates are messy. UR in need of a napkin.
3. Stale bread
There’s a lot of preparation time involved in the Garbage Plate, and it is preferable to use bread aged at least one month. Either mashed up or shredded, this is what creates that satisfying consistency and moldy edge.
4. Leftover chemicals from your Thursday 6:15pm lab
Sometimes it helps to eat your feelings after a rough day in the lab. This is what keeps the Garbage Plate a true mystery, as the chemicals offer both a deeply satisfying taste and that sought-after sense of a completely unknown place of origin.
5. Spoiled Milk
Especially with some chunkiness to it, expired milk really balances out the many flavors of the Garbage Plate, while also acting as a great sweet-and-sour sauce.
Finishing it off with your crumbs of choice, this dish is ready to go. In addition to a great main course for that authentic Rochester dinner party, you can even enjoy this delicacy within the comforts of your own home. Clearly these delectable ingredients have no place in the trash— we prefer them in our Garbage Plates.
Just kidding. Happy April Fool’s!