In the beginning of "adulthood" and overwhelmed by the weight of it, I decided I was going to try the best donut in every state. It started at 5:39 a.m. on June 18th, 2016. My best friend from high school, Drea, texted me “you up?” and I jumped out of bed in complete distress. In response to her text, I called right away, apologizing for oversleeping and got on the road.
I did not really have a big plan. Once, I was in a pizza club and the protocol was to try a slice of cheese as a baseline to be able to make a fair comparison. With donuts, I ended up either asking the person in front of me or the person working at the counter what to order.
This idea of going to the best donut shop in every state started off as a simple wonder. I was kind of blown away about this list of “best donut” shops. Who decided this? And which one was the best? And are donuts even that good? This idea evolved into so much more for me as I went to each place.
So I headed...
For the Holy Donut in Portland, ME
Pulling onto the interstate, we were on our way to try our very first reportedly “best donut” at the Holy Donut in Portland, Maine. The Holy Donut opens at 7:30 a.m. and closes its doors when they sell out of donuts for the day. I was determined to be there when they opened. With a two-hour ride ahead of us, we were not going to be the first ones there, but we were going to get a hot donut.
As Drea and I sat in front of the Holy Donut in Portland, Maine, me munching away on the sweet potato, her on a chocolate sea salt, we were happy to have that one morning away from all the roars of our lives at home; to be together and enjoy damn good donuts.
The first realization I came to was that I wanted this donut idea to be the grounding experience. Having struggled with eating problems in the past, I want to fall in love with great food again. I wanted to admit that I was not always okay, but I can be okay.
So I headed...
For Glazed & Confuzed in Denver, CO
And I discovered this wonderful “oh my god” sensation I got to experience with the people I was bringing to the donut places. And even though I had formed a donut shop routine, each decision had become no less stressful. You walk into the donut shop, it smells amazing and all the donuts look good. So how are you supposed to pick just one?
So I headed...
For Union Square Donuts in Somerville, MA
My brother bit into a donut from Union Square and I learned you rarely could go wrong at these shops. His eyes lit up as he tasted the maple bacon, and he let out a little "oh my god." As time passed and I was farther away from my home, these moments munching into purely great donuts with people I loved became the time I needed with them.
So I headed...
For Dough in Manhattan, NY
I was starting to find my reasons to continue on this donut search overwhelming as I began to reminisce on the moments I was collecting.
I rode a subway to Brooklyn, chewing away on a Dough Donut with my long-distance best friend Ana. This is a moment I get to keep. I get to keep the look on Ana’s face when I freaked out outside of Dough because of how soft the donut was (Ana laughed at my absurdity, which was expected). I also get to keep my own reaction: awe and ability to be surprised and overwhelmed.
From New York City, a coastal city shaken from the results of the election, I took off for Allentown, PA, an area that felt quite the opposite. I was gaining an understanding of the dynamics of the country through the hole of a donut.
On my way to Philly, I stopped here for a moment at one of the most critical periods of U.S. politics within my lifetime. I stayed here for one strange and nostalgic night where my friend showed me her world. We got high in a small attic room that in ways resembled “Foreman’s basement."
So I headed...
For Federal Donuts in Philly, PA
I went to Federal Donuts alone.
It was outside the donut shop on an empty Philly street where I first felt a wonderful kind of alone I had not felt in so long. I noticed the air, the street, the people and the sounds as I pulled the cinnamon sugar donut out of the bag and bit into it.
I had one of those moments where you experience something profound alone and then experience it again in a new way because you realize you are alone. It was like laughing at an SNL skit and looking at the other chair to see if my brother was laughing and then realizing I was watching it alone, and laughing some more.
Or skiing through the trees on absolute powder and smiling the whole day because not only was I doing it, but I wasn’t thinking about who was behind me watching how good I was. When I stopped to look back, it was only to see what I had done.
When I bit into this donut by myself on the Philly streets, I smiled because it was thus far the best donut I had had. I fell in love with cake donuts right on the spot. And wanted to tell the stranger next to me that it wasn’t too hard or too soft. And just the right amount of sweet and moist.
Instead, I just smiled because like the time I looked at the empty chair or laughed while skiing down the mountain. I realized I was kind of a crazy person so wonderfully capable of experiencing raw emotions without anyone else’s confirmation. What a wonderful thought.
At a coffee ship near Haverford I met an old friend and together we munched on the rest of the donuts. We caught up on the events of our lives and I found that both he and I had this similar frustration following us. After the events of the election, our years at college, and even this independent experience I had outside of Federal Donuts, I watched both of our lights struggle to stay lit.
My good friend, Michael, who I talked to on this day, is one of a kind, just like the donut I tried. I was starting to discover all the donuts I was trying wonderfully surprised me and had different aspects that made them the “best.” Federal Donuts achieved the perfect old-fashioned cake donut not overwhelmed by cinnamon or blueberry glaze.
Michael wore the most old man glasses I had ever seen a 20-year-old pull off, he had a poetic way of speaking and a heartbreaking way of writing. He allowed himself to smile and also frown, and both of us knew that the work in our country was not over.
So I headed...
For Duck Donuts in Newark, DE
I stopped at Duck Donuts on the way home from a road trip with my mom, dad and little brother. It was the first time I got to explain to them what I was doing. And by that, I mean how I do not really know what I am doing. I do love a great donut (possibly too much). But the the purpose of this donut search started off being my need for some direction.
I might not know what classes I am taking or what I am doing the summer before entering my junior year. But I am excited about donuts, the concrete goal of getting to these places and learning about this country. It is giving me a newfound purpose. I get to go to these places and watch these people I love smile so big when they try their first not-shitty donut and realize what I'm doing.
We all need some form of control, and we’re bad at figuring out what that means. For me, I’m going to try donuts.
So I headed...
For Muriel’s Donuts in Lebanon, NH
I discovered as a 75-cent cinnamon sugar donut melted in my mouth that I can teach some people something that has been forgotten. My friends Maeve and Elena, who grew up at sleep away camp with me, realized it too as we all got emotional about how incredible these donuts were.
We have forgotten that we have not experienced the whole world yet, and there are still things to discover and things to be excited about. We can still have these child-like experiences with something simple.
So I headed...
For Allie’s Donuts in North Kingston, RI
I drove three hours out of my way to a job interview so I could share a box of donuts with my dad before I headed back to school for another six months. Before I went back to wondering where I was going next in my life. Before my dad did a little of the same. Because we never stop growing and wondering who exactly we are and where we want to go next.
But I'm hoping for Whoo's Donuts in Sante Fe, NM.
So I headed...
Follow the rest of my donut search on Instagram @mariaeatsdonuts.