You know Margot Robbie?
Yes, that Margot Robbie. Her beauty routine is so perfect, it’s almost psychotic. Curious as to how she does it? Well, here’s how you can look just like the Australian goddess herself.
First, she wakes up in white silk pajamas in her quaint five, no, six-bedroom mansion in Beachwood Canyon. Ya know, the one with the bad view?
Then, she sits delicately on the toilet but nothing comes out because even though some women excrete waste, this angel doesn’t.
Next she expertly holds two chilled spoons dipped in Lapsang Souchong, a black tea originating from the Fujian province of China, known to lower inflammation and, in this case, reduce puffiness of the eyes.
While the spoons are working their magic, she does yoga in order to maintain the six-pack she was obviously born with, still in the silk pajamas she woke up in. I mean, she could’ve just used these yoga moves instead.
After that, she showers using products from the Mesozoic Era, a fossilized blue-green algae body scrub and a deep pore cleanser lotion, probably what the plesiosaurs used cause those dudes had some smooth skin. I do think she could’ve just used this coffee facial scrub.
Being 1/36th Rapunzelean, her golden locks practically wash themselves, so she doesn’t need to waste money on silly shampoo. Don’t have hair like Margot’s? Fear not, here’s some great tips to improve your hair.
Now this is where it starts to get a little complex, she applies a proprietary glycolic mask, a Swiss face mask that looks like you’re peeling off a layer of skin which honestly could be what’s happening because at this point who even knows any more.
Afterwards, she applies a small batch of placenta-infused facial toner for that “third trimester glow without the cravings,” followed by a moisturizer, an anti-aging eye balm, and a moisturizing protectant lotion because the first moisturizer, unquestionably, wasn’t enough.
Want a face mask that doesn’t involve placenta? Check it out here.
See the full routine below: