So you’ve just gotten back from Chi Phi on a Saturday night. It’s 2:30 in the morning and there’s only one thing on your mind. You stumble to open your mini-fridge and grab the party-sized jar of Tostitos queso dip that you’ve carefully saved for this exact moment.
After devouring the entire jar and complementary bag of chips, you proceed to throw out the remains as to leave no evidence. You wake up the next morning with a pounding headache and naturally begin to recount your night. Okay, let’s see. You remember drunk-busing it to the party, dancing with ya bishes to Bobby Shmurda, and just MAYBE dfmo-ing with that guy on baseball. The rest of the night is pretty hazy and you have absolutely no recollection of drunk eating. Therefore, you did not eat. Makes sense, right?
This is all until you see that your best friend posted a picture in your group-chat. And with your luck, it’s a Snapchat of you from 3 in the morning, generously shoveling food into your mouth with the simply stated caption: “bitches ”
Alright, sooo maybe you have a bit of an issue with eating while intoxicated. Don’t beat yourself up. We’ve all been there. Unfortunately for us, there is no quick fix to this problem. However, we can offer some healthier late night snack alternatives to that queso.
My all-time favorite go to for a healthy drunk-eat is air-popped popcorn. It’s crunchy and salty and tricks you into thinking that you’re eating something naughty, when really it’s barely 30 calories a cup. And the best part is that it’s super easy to make.
All you need is a paper bag, Pam nonstick spray, salt, popcorn kernels and a microwave.
- Pour about a cup of kernels into the brown paper bag
- Microwave for preset popcorn time or for several minutes until you barely hear kernels popping, and make sure that you monitor the microwave
- This step is VERY important because honestly if it’s 2:30 in the morning, do you really want to be the one who sets off the fire alarm? Don’t be “that guy.”
- Spray some pam into the bag (I know this sounds weird, but you can pretend like its butter) and don’t forget to shake some salt in there
Hummus & Pita Chips/Carrots
There aren’t many other foods that I love more than hummus, so this one is a winner. Keep in mind, while hummus is considered “healthy” it has a whopping 70 calories per 2 tablespoons, so try to not polish off the entire tub.I prefer Cedar’s hummus, but if you’re the Sabra type, go for it. Tbh, when you’re hammered it all tastes the same. As for the pita chips, Stacy’s is a must. Especially if you go for the Stacy Pita naked Crisps (130 calories for 1 oz/13 chips), not chips.
If you don’t have access to a grocery store, I suggest you go to College Center, get one of the to-go containers and fill it with pita/carrots and hummus. This is awesome because it saves you actual cash. The weird color of the hummus in CC kinda throws me off, but it tastes totally fine. You can also go to Zime and get the Sabra & Pretzel cup. The Sabra packaged cup is ideal because it’s already portioned out so you can avoid overeating.
The Quaker Oats packets of oatmeal are great when you’re craving something sweet. Each packet is only about 130-160 calories and all you have to do is add water and microwave for a minute. Yum and fast!
Amy’s Frozen Food
I LOVE Amy’s. The selection of Amy’s in the frozen aisle is perfect when you’re dying for some real food. Two of my favs are the low-calorie lasagna (300 cals) and the California veggie burger (150 cals). For optimal taste, add some Siracha or ketchup to the veggie burgers. These are also super easy because all you need to do is nuke ‘em in the microwave. I’m talking about some good nomz.
Drunk eating is almost always inevitable. But maaaaybe we can wake up the next morning and feel less guilty than if we had eaten that entire jar of queso.