It only seems fitting that a movie as awesome as The Hunger Games Mockingjay – Part 2 is making its big debut this November 20th, which just so happens to be only days before our absolute favorite holiday — THANKSGIVING (*Read in Oprah’s surprise holiday giveaway voice*).
That’s right. Thanksgiving is just around the corner and we’re so excited that we’ve already started drawing up the blueprints for how we’re going to go about the dinner table in order to get the best meal possible this year.
We have to remember to avoid sitting next to any talkers (no distractions, please). Steer clear of Chatty Auntie Kathy from Colorado who just bought a new piece of art that she’s sure you’re just dying to hear about.
It is also imperative that we be positioned in a way that gives us a clear route to and from the serving tables for fourths. We don’t want to have to trip over any of the little cousins but, if need be for more sweet potato casserole, we will.
I can think of no better way to honor both the incredible cast of this series, and the incredible cast of the Thanksgiving dinner table, than to combine the two into one fiery hybrid of passion, bravery, and flavor. So, here’s what the cast of The Hunger Games would look like as Thanksgiving dinner:
Katniss: The Turkey
Just as she is the leader of the revolution, she is the leader of the Thanksgiving dinner table. Her bold presence and immediate command of the room reflects the same reaction we give when the Thanksgiving turkey finally enters the dining room and makes the whole house smell like heaven.
Peeta: Bread Pudding
Sticking to his roots — the roots that brought him to Katniss in the first place — Peeta is as warm and overflowing with love as our grandmother’s bread pudding.
A male specimen as flaming hot and full of passion as Gale only deserves the hottest dish on the table — spicy cranberry pear chutney. Our mouths (and hearts) are melting.
Effie: Citrus Kale Salad
A Thanksgiving dinner in the Capitol is only going to feature the most lavish, most beautiful, and most delectable dishes. A lady as elegant and pretty as Effie quite reminds us of the citrus kale salad you might find on the plates of the Capitol’s most Elite.
Cinna: Sweet Potato Casserole
Design has to be kept in mind when placing Cinna on the table. So we chose Cornflake, Pecan, and marshmallow-topped sweet potato casserole — a Thanksgiving dish that can be both aesthetically pleasing to the weird artistic aunt, as well as satisfying to the hangry girl home from college hiding under the kitchen table sneaking apps.
Prim: Hush Puppies
So innocent and vulnerable, Prim’s gentle nature reminds us of the most gentle dish on the table — a delicate serving of hush puppies, sitting so quietly, so patiently, on a plate you once painted in the 5th grade that Mom refuses to let go of.
Caesar: Cranberry Salad
Probably one the most colorful, flamboyant, and all around ridiculous characters ever written, Ceasar seems as goofy and fun to us as that weird pink marshmallow stuff at the end of the dessert table. After some fine investigative work, I’ve discovered that this dish is in fact called cranberry salad (aka the stuff I eat every year but never ask what it’s made of because I can taste the sugar and that’s good enough for me).
Haymitch: Bourbon Gravy
If Haymitch were a guest at the Thanksgiving dinner table, we already know he would be the drunk uncle spewing little pieces of cornbread across the room as he tells everyone about that time he fought a hobo (and won) for the one millionth time. But, if he were a dish, we also know he would be the booziest one on the table — bourbon gravy.
President Snow: Cauliflower Mash
Known as a man of mystery, secrets, and little remorse, President Snow is perhaps the least understood member of the Hunger Games cast. Rightfully so, he is the least understood dish on the Thanksgiving table — cauliflower mash. Why is this a thing? Why take something as awful as cauliflower, and pulverize it into a paste? Are we really expected to waste any precious space on our Thanksgiving plate for THAT?