On a traditional night out at about 1am (maybe 2am if I'm feeling extra fun), I am 100% ready to go home. My friends might still be on the porch or dancing with a cute guy they met, but ya girl only has one thing on her mind: cheese fries.
And so, one Friday as I was patiently awaiting my order at Cookout, I realized that I had "gone home" with cheese fries the past four nights in a row, and the order I was about to pick up would complete my perfect week of cheese fries (excluding the weekend, because those days are strictly dedicated to naps).
In short, I learned from "my perfect week" that Columbia's cheese fry game is pretty strong. Follow this guide and never go home alone again.
For some reason, I found myself at Fast Eddie's Calzone's (as people call it), in Five Points. First off, this place is not fast, but they do offer curly fries which gives them major bonus points. These fries were loaded with bacon, but they had a little kick of spice, which I'm not a huge fan of. There was so much cheese on the fries that at the end I was left with just cheese and bacon (nothing wrong with that).
Unfortunately, by the time I got them I was half asleep, or maybe just over it. Score: 6/10.
I grabbed dinner at Liberty Tap Room & Grill, so the next day I could complain about how broke I was. As per usual, I ordered the cheese fries, and to my surprise I was not pleased.
The dish was simply awkward. The fries themselves were very thick and starchy, and a warm ranch dressing was poured all over them (did I ask for that!?). My guess is they threw packaged shredded cheese on top and microwaved the dish. It was that type of stiff a** shredded cheese, where you lift one fry and all of the cheese lifts with it.
I have respect for a lot of the other dishes at Liberty, but won't be returning for cheese fries. Score: 3/10.
Since I was still broke from last night's meal and craving cheese fries, I thought "let's go out to dinner again." Grill Marks is a somewhat-new, trendy burger and shake joint in The Vista, so I figured with burgers comes fries. I'm a blue cheese addict, so the pimento and bleu cheese fries caught my eye from the start, and I ordered them.
In short, they were awesome. My friends and I ate them in less than four minutes. Grill Marks gave me a huge plate of perfect fries (aside from the cheese I still would have loved them), then drenched them in pimento cheese with incredible flavor. And to top it all off, blue cheese crumbles. Exquisite.
Score: 9/10. You go, Grill Marks.
Since it was Thursday, and I am a college student, I dedicated this night to 2am Sonic. Corn dogs and popcorn chicken step aside, Sonic should be known for its awesome cheese fries.
These are still fast food fries, so you can taste that they're cheap, but they are so good. The serving is small, but worth it. The fries were thin, and peeled apart from each other just as beautiful cheese fries should. The cheese also had this pleasantly smooth texture (if that is not completely weird to say).
Skip the tots, go for the cheese fries. Score: 8/10.
Well, it's past my bedtime and I've come to my realization that it's time to go home. But I'm glad I ended the week on top. No one knows why or questions the ridiculously cheap prices at Cookout. Just get extra cheese and a large fry.
These fries were drenched in gooey yellow cheese, and they poured so much over the golden brown fries that I was lucky enough to have extra to dip my chicken nuggets in.
The picture says a thousand words. Score: 10/10.
Saturday mornings should always start with a headache and a Cookout tray next to you. Don't feel too bad about the extra calories...I'll be going for round two this Monday.