It’s become a tradition that each time Starbucks unveils a new drink I
force encourage my friend Chris to review it. It should be noted that Chris has no knowledge or particular like for coffee but that being said his taste tests make for great reactions. Starbucks recently created the Caramel Flan Latte as well as the Tiramisu latte, the latter of which Chris was kind enough to try so you don’t have to.
Nadine: Okay so what is your first impression right out of the gate?
Chris: Honestly it tastes like that last shitty thing you had me try.
Nadine: The Praline Latte?
Chris: Yeah, all of these drinks taste exactly the same.
Chris: I can tell it’s sweet like it comes from tiramisu… also that means nothing to me because I’ve never had tiramisu.
Nadine: Oh my god.
Chris: What do you want from me?
Nadine: Walk me through your thoughts.
Chris: My thought process is full of regret for coming here in the first place.
Nadine: There’s that charm.
Chris: The fact that there’s milk in here is the only thing saving it.
Nadine: You’ve literally said that every time.
Nadine: Rate it on a scale from 1-10, 10 being the best.
Nadine: That’s lower than you ranked the Praline Latte, which you ranked as a four.
Chris: I had to lower it for the bad weather.
Chris: The temperature is fine it’s the taste that’s bad.
Nadine: What can you compare it to taste wise?
Chris: Something chocolate and I don’t like chocolate.
Nadine: Describe it in a smilie or metaphor.
Chris: It tastes like The Men Who Stare At Goats because that was an awful movie and I hated it.
Nadine: Better or worst than Pumpkin Spice Latte?
Chris: Worse way worse but the Chestnut Praline one was better than the Tiramisu Latte.
Nadine: Assign it to a president.
Chris: Richard Nixon; blunt, bitter just not friendly or inviting. It lies and I want it gone.
Thirsty For More?