February 2015 was a glorious month. Chick-fil-A gave away free coffee. Queen B released her vegan meal service. But most importantly, we Asians finally got our first T.V. show, ABC’s Fresh Off the Boat. Whoop, whoop! Yet, we are still so misunderstood in America. Awful drivers? Ping-pong masters? Human calculators? Other stereotypes aside, I thought it was time to address some misconceptions on how we like to chow down. So, next time you grab a bite with a new Asian friend or classmate, please avoid asking these seven questions:
7. What’s your favorite fast food place? Wait, let me guess: Panda Express!
If you say this to me, two things are certain: I’m sort of agreeing with you, but at the same time I’m karate-chopping your booty with the black belt skills you’ll probably ask me about next.
6. Ew, don’t you guys eat dog?
Some small rural populations in China do. We are not them.
5. How do you eat so much rice?
Amount of rice an Asian person eats < amount of rice a Chipotle customer shoves into a burrito.
4. Okay, how about noodles?
NO! Just no.
3. How are all Asians so skinny?
2. Don’t you love fortune cookies?
Why yes, my favorite desserts are of the bland and stale variety. Bonus points for their “wtf does this mean” prophecies.
1. How are you so good at using chopsticks?
How are you so good at using a fork? And a knife? Just please stop staring at me.