It’s Halloween night and you’re preparing a bowl of candy to give out to the adorable ghosts, zombies and skeletons who are about to show up at your door. You look in your cupboard to see what stash of candy you have — there’s a lot of groceries piled up, and you have no idea what to give out. Pause. Before you reach in to grab a handful of assorted leftovers you have in your cupboard, remember this; you don’t want to be that house.
We all know that one house, and they are not treated favorably the next morning. If you want to learn how to avoid eggings and TPing, read the rest of the article to find out the top five worst Halloween treats you should absolutely avoid.
Photo by Flickr User Erika Nusser
This candy is definitely questionable. Some would argue it’s a classic staple of Halloween. But let’s be real here, who really has candy corn in the list as one of their favorite Halloween treats? Candy corn is waxy and is sickeningly sweet, but not in a good way. Biting into a candy corn feels like biting into a tooth that’s gone really soft. All around, not a good experience.
Photo By Flickr User Tom Gill
There are two kinds of people who give out apples: dentists and people who have never known joy. There inevitably is one house on the block that will give out apples. Do not be that house. If you are giving out an apple on Halloween, please sit down and reevaluate your life choices that led you up to this point. We are celebrating a national holiday where you are allowed to gorge on as much candy as you want; on the food pyramid, candy and apples are as far away from each other as food can get.
Photo By Flickr User Thomas Hawk
These large hunks of pink gunk are the absolute worst. The institution of trick-or-treating is founded on the principle of getting to stuff yourself with candy until you burst. The idea of bubble gum defeats this purpose as you can only chew it up and spit it out. Plus, bubble gum fiends never give out fresh bubble gum. It is almost always inevitable that the bubble gum found in your bag is rock hard, stale and chalky. Please respect the integrity of trick-or-treating and stop putting bubble gum in people’s bags.
Photo By Flickr User Malak Abdullah
Ah, the marshmallow. Marshmallows are also treats that are in high danger of being stale whenever given out. In addition, marshmallows are the sidekicks of the candy universe. They are always delicious when they are prepared with something; sitting in hot chocolate, on top of pumpkin pie, baked into cookies or melted into fudge. But when you just have marshmallows by themselves, they are small, sad, squishy pillows of mediocrity. You would need to stuff your face with a ton of marshmallows in order to satisfy any cravings you might have, but it’s safe to say you’re not going to get more than a few measly handfuls.
Photo By Flickr User Sarah Reld
This is a variation of the marshmallow, but is even a worse offender because it is a marshmallow masquerading as a peanut. First, this means this is a candy that is trying to trick you into thinking it’s something that it’s not. You have a peanut in your hand but you bite into it and it surprises you by being a marsmallow. What’s even worse is that it is a candy that is pretending to be something not even that appetizing. Out of all possible things to be, why a peanut? What connection do peanuts have with Halloween? Why not pretend to be something exciting, like a chocolate bar, or a cupcake? If you had the chance to reinvent yourself, why not go crazy and reach for the stars? All in all, a letdown.
Photo By Flickr User Carlos Porto
Pretzels are actually great, but they are only great in certain contexts. A) If you are in a movie theatre. B) If you are at the fair. C) If you are babysitting and are preparing study snacks. Normally, we all love pretzels. They’re crunchy, salty, and bite-sized, all great qualities for a snack. We have nothing personal against pretzels. But, pretzels given out at Halloween are just confusing and don’t belong. Save the pretzels for when they are needed. Halloween night is not their night. Maybe if they were covered in chocolate.
Photo By Flickr User Shawn Carpenter