Everyone knows that we go to college to get some knowledge and by the time you graduate you’ve got quite a lot of skills tucked away in your sleep-deprived and alcohol-addled brain. After class on any given day you know you can master the quintessential college meals. But maybe today, or tomorrow (or the next day) you have an exam, a presentation, an interview, a really horrible hangover and the simple act of opening your fridge just sounds daunting. Thankfully, most college food scenes, even the bleakest, have a solution for your laziest and hunger: sandwiches.
To make your life easier, here’s the definitive list of which sandwich joint you should go to and which ‘wich you should order, according to the respective day of the week.
Monday: “Unwich” from Jimmy John’s
New week and a renewed motivation to eat healthy. Whether you think gluten-free is the way to go, or for some reason or another, saying goodbye to carbs for Spring Break season sounds like a good idea, this leafy bun-substitute is exactly what you’re looking for. The crispy and the super-food green colored lettuce is so convincing, who cares that you’ll probably be hungry again in about an hour?
Tuesday: “Elvis Wich” from Which Wich
It doesn’t have to be Fat Tuesday for you to have an excuse to pig out. Inspired by Elvis’ favorite sandwich, Which Wich makes a mean argument that banana, bacon and peanut butter actually tastes unbelievably good. You’ll want to nosh on this sweet and salty concoction before Tuesday night out, and then again, on the same night. We withhold all judgement.
Wednesday: “Meatball Marinara” from Subway
Because it’s Hump Day. Duh.
Thursday: Something from Silver Mine Subs
If you go to U of I, you’ll probably stumble into this fluorescent nightmare of a restaurant after a successful Thirsty Thursday at KAM’S. Regardless of which campus it is on, Silver Mine isn’t necessarily known for it’s high quality. We would recommend the garden veggie sandwich, but then we would have to advise you that you might have to ask for more the veggies other than shredded lettuce and one pink looking tomato. But then again, at 2 am, it probably won’t really matter.
Friday: “T-K-Y” from Potbelly
TGIF. Motivated to overcome last night’s regrets, nothing says redemption like a humble portion of turkey. Even with the veggie toppings, and pickles, and mayo (eh, just a little more, more…), this sandwich seems just right, quaint even. As your hangover fades, your stomach is now prepared for happy hour, full with healthy wheat bread (read: and that Oreo milkshake, chocolate chip cookie and bag of vinegar chips.)
Saturday: “The Fat M.I.L.F” from Fat Sandwich
If you don’t know what Fat Sandwich is, or you don’t go to U of I, by now in this article you probably think every student is morally disturbed or an alcoholic (which may be true). Whether you’re hung over, still drunk or sober (caution: read this first) this monster sandwich of fries, chicken fingers, cheese and other unmentionables must be consumed at least once before your college career is over. It’s simply not acceptable once you’re a real person, you know, graduated and stuff.
Sunday: “Chicken Terryaki” from Penn Station East Coast Subs
Paired with a cup of fries, this melty, onion and chicken masterpiece will keep you full and focused while you catch up on all of the homework you didn’t do over the weekend. Then when you’re done, and slightly uncomfortable from all of the grease, you promise to eat healthier starting tomorrow: see Monday.