Eating is a straightforward process. Grab a piece of food, open your mouth, chew, and swallow. However, certain foods have a specific way in which they should be consumed for maximum flavor and convenience.
Unfortunately, there are people in the world who choose to defy these foods by eating them in complete contrast to the way they are designed to be eaten. We must stop these heinous acts from continuing. So please, if you know someone who takes part in this food treachery, it might be time for an intervention.
The individual bars exist for a reason. Use them.
Milk and cereal is the breakfast equivalent to peanut butter and jelly. Pairing it with any other liquid is in violation of food 101.
Created to be peeled in STRINGS, not bitten.
Hot dogs are all about that bun to meat ratio. Eating one top down rather than front to back robs you of the total hot dog flavor experience.
For the sanity of others, slice your oranges. Biting into an orange defeats the purpose of an orange all together.
Where is the satisfaction in eating pizza without experiencing the grease drip and cheese pull after grabbing the slice with your bare hands and sinking your teeth in? A fork and knife should never come in proximity to a piece of pizza.
Common courtesy people. We do not want to hear a washer machine on continuous spin cycle.
Slurping and excessive gulping are two sounds we could all do without.
If you find yourself participating in any of these crimes, hopefully this article has sparked a revelation. As for us observers, it is our job to make sure the food world stays intact and operating correctly. If you are a witness to these incorrect behaviors, you better believe it is your duty to interfere. Happy eating!