I’m a die-hard peanut butter lover, even if that means not eating it and using it to shave my legs. It’s smooth, oily, and sticky – isn’t that a perfect combination for shaving away those pesky hairs?
Plus, my leg hair grows in thick and uneven, making normal substances such as soap and shaving cream barely suitable for the job. I’m always up for the ridiculous, especially when peanut butter is involved. What would life be without nonsensical food challenges?
My Atlanta kitchen is resplendent with different kinds of peanut butter – whipped, crunchy, smooth, all-natural. I plucked a can of creamy off the shelf, popped open a brand-new package of shavers, and got down to prickly business.I didn’t know what to expect; what if peanut butter was the solution to my leg-shaving problems?
Here Goes Nothing
Excited and feeling a little foolish, I spread a thin layer of peanut butter across my shins. My leg hair wasn’t too long – it was short, bristly, black, and sticking out of translucent skin. My lower leg hair is obvious, even when I shave it. As a half Indian, half German woman, my dark hairs shine through white skin like dust in filtered light.
The shaver I used was a new, pink Gillette with a replaceable blade. I wanted it to be as sharp as possible so the confounding variable of bluntness vs. sharpness wouldn’t be present. Waxing and dilapidation for my leg hair were never options; waxing is too expensive and the surface area of my legs is too large for simple creams or bleaching agents.
After I spread on the peanut butter, I shaved my shins in small patches. I discovered that yes, it is technically possible to shave your legs with peanut butter. Hair removed, skin underneath silky and covered in a fine film of oil. The kitchen was my glorified, dry shower since I didn’t want PB clogging up my actual bathroom drains.
The main issue was cleaning the peanut butter off the shaver in between strokes. An unsavory mixture of sticky and stubble clung to the back of the shaver, no amount of kitchen water slogging the goop off. I had to pry the peanut butter off with my fingers, getting in all the grooves and nooks of the shaver.
It was not pleasant, especially since I was blunting a new blade from Target. I finished the section of my shin, hobbling to the sink every few strokes to wash the hair butter out. In all honesty, I didn’t finish my other leg – I sighed under the shower stream that night, admitting defeat and using a bar of Dial soap to shave the remaining hairs.
However, one benefit of PB shaving is that the natural oils act as a moisturizer as well – who needs Aveeno when you have hydrogenated vegetable oil?
The Verdict
Although I’m a Peanut Butter Queen, I’ll save the it for pretzels and French vanilla ice cream, not the shaver. On the surface, PB worked wonders – until the reality of mess and goop dashed my creative-shaving hopes. Maybe I’ll just have to try baby oil, hair conditioner, and raw honey as shaving creams next...