Normally, I love going to a school with a vibrant Jewish culture. I get to spend Shabbat dinner with hundreds of others at Hillel. I have friends who know the Yom Kippur fasting struggle (btw, here’s a survival guide) and don’t judge when I stuff my face at the campus break fast. And finally, but most importantly, the school is closed during a bunch of the Jewish holidays. There is, however, one dark cloud hanging over this whole experience. THERE IS NO HAM ON CAMPUS.

I get the whole kosher thing (even if I myself do not adhere to it), and that’s why I  think it’s great that we have a kosher dining hall and deli. But, since we have meat pizzas, cheeseburgers, meat and cheese sandwiches, and desserts all being served in the dining hall at the same time, why no ham? Why not just go all the way with the whole not-entirely-kosher thing? (I know, I know, I’m a bad Jew). Regardless, here are reasons why I think we should get some pork products:

We’re already breaking rules of kosher, so lets just bite the bullet and break some more

ham

GIF courtesy of giphy.com

See the violation list above.

Bacon

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GIF courtesy of giphy.com

Turkey bacon does not count as bacon. That’s Bacon 101.

Chicken, turkey, and fish are getting a bit boring.

ham

GIF courtesy of giphy.com

We need another source of protein. There’s only so much grilled chicken one can consume.

Pepperoni pizza is delicious.

ham

GIF courtesy of giphy.com

It’s amazing and I miss it. That is all.

Though there are a large number of Jewish students here, not everyone is Jewish.

ham

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Since Jewish students are accommodated by our Kosher deli and Kosher dining hall, perhaps non-Jewish students would enjoy some accommodation, too. Like… let’s say… some real bacon!