Voting should have been as basic as white girls ordering pumpkin, spiced lattés this fall. With the elections over, it’s time to truly remember the drink that makes your taste buds say coff-yay… and coff-nay.
1. Stephen Harper- Conservative Party
The Plain, Old, Black Coffee
He’s bean around for a while and he’s definitely not everyone’s cup of tea, but he can be sweetened with a little love. For all black coffee lovers, he sure won’t disappoint to give you what you expect: that kick-start in the morning before work. He might be plain, old joe, but he’s definitely not basic.
2. Giles Duceppe- Bloc Québécois
Duceppe’s too hot to handle. He’s only for those who strive to be like an Americano that brews solo. His old-school classic look may fool you to think he’s as sweet as le français, but his stance is as strong as this blend.
3. Elizabeth May- The Green Party
Cool Lime Refresher
Lizzy keeps it as cool as this drink. She’s a cool, calm, collected nominee with her voice for the clean and green. This refreshment’s one that screams Lizzy, and is all about the recharging and renewing of your energy levels (Can you get more green than that?). I only wish I could refill it…
4. Justin Trudeau- The Liberal Party
He is, by far, the prettiest of the leaders to look at. Don’t even try to argue that. His versatility allows for endless options: bagged or steeped? Iced or hot? Shaken or stirred? He certainly tugs at the heart strings of caffeine addicts looking for a new taste. I would, undoubtedly, stand on guard for his tea.
5. Thomas Muclair- NDP
The Caramel Macchiato
Muclair is as sophisticated as the name of this drink. He can whip together a harmonious community like this dark roast with the hint of sweet. Don’t be fooled by his charm, he isn’t afraid to make his mark or should I say make his macchiato? He may seem old, but he’ll stir you around to show his new ideas like this classic twist.
This election has proven to be as surprising as the new toasted graham latte. I mean you love it, or you hate it. In the spirit of a new season, sometimes a change in flavour or spice can be a good thing. It’s up to us to give up our staple drink and branch out to something new that could become more than our seasonal favourite.
“O, Canada we stand on guard for coffee”