Sometimes regular beer can overwhelm with its variety of tastes and textures. Luckily, Princeton’s fine eating establishments have been kind enough to provide students with Beast, a fine beer that is watered down so as to protect the culinary senses from overload. Each eating club has its own variety. Some have a subtler flavor, some are fruitier, some come with a bit of a bitter aftertaste, and still others carry a smoky aroma. All eleven are quite unique and worth a good tasting. Even if the Prospect Eleven isn’t in your future, Spoon is here to help you out and give you five of the best cups of Beast on the Street.

Photo by Jennifer Lee

First we have Ivy Beast. Dark, bold and yet equally as watery as the rest of the Beasts, Ivy’s Beast mix has an accent of orange hops over the malt base that creates the Ivy Beast experience.

If Ivy Beast isn’t for you, then try TI Beast. Perhaps the wateriest of the Beasts on the Street, this exquisite creature is most abundantly tasted on the legendary State Nights, when it is not just drank, but absorbed through pores on the skin. Bursting with a light caramel finish, TI’s rendition of the Eating Club classic leaves a bittersweet aftertaste that will be sure to leave you wanting more.

Down Washington Road we find Terrace, where the Beast is craftily balanced between water and grassy hops. This Beast is reminiscient of a foreign pale ale from some country you’re not cool enough to have heard of: its flavor is weaker and less full-bodied, yet cool and refreshing.

Photo by Jennifer Lee

For a medium-bodied beer that is spiced up with a hint of lemon, Charter’s Beast is the way to go. Also pale, but stronger than Terrace Beast, the citrus aroma first hits you as you begin to sip on this classic Friday night choice. The actual taste of the beer is somewhat piney, giving it one of the most distinct flavors on the street.

Lastly we have Cannon’s Beast. This beer’s toasty maltiness comes through from the first sip, but then leaves you with a straightforward flavor and a crisp taste on the tongue.

What more is to be said? You can’t go wrong with a nice, watered-down Beast. So fill up your cup and enjoy the many flavors of beer that await you on Prospect Avenue.

This is a joke post for April Fools Day. All Beasts were created equal.