25. Anything from the farmer’s market
Sweet potatoes, spinach, kale, you name it.
24. Kind bars
23. Greek yogurt
Greek yogurt trumps regular yogurt anyday. Bonus points if it’s pumpkin-flavored.
22. Skinny margaritas
21. Vegan anything
20. Raw almonds
19. Turkey or veggie burgers
18. Apples picked from an orchard
If you forget to Instagram a picture of yourself picking apples, did it really happen?
17. Hummus and pita chips
With pumpkin spice cream cheese, of course.
15. Coconut water
What else would a basic bitch drink after Spinning or Pilates?
With dressing on the side, of course.
13. Homemade cookies
Anything with quinoa is like, so trendy.
11. Chia seeds
Super food alert!
10. Vodka soda
“Um, I just want to get as drunk as I can with the fewest calories possible.”
9. Gluten-free anything
8. Speculoos cookie butter
I can eat cookie butter straight out of the jar if I SoulCycle for the next week, I think.
7. Air-popped popcorn
No butter, no salt, just air and popped kernels.
5. Pressed juices
“I’m on a juice cleanse.”
4. Frozen yogurt
Like eating ice cream (with your favorite toppings!) without actually eating ice cream.
3. Avocado toast
2. Pumpkin spice lattes
Bonus points if it’s in a holiday-themed Starbucks cup.
And finally, the most basic food of all time…
1. Dark chocolate
How many basic bitches do you know who don’t like dark chocolate? Approximately zero. Point proven: dark chocolate is the most basic food of all time. Bonus points if it’s dark chocolate from Trader Joe’s.