Even if you’re not into culinary arts in the slightest, Gordon Ramsay is one of those people who makes the Food Network worth watching. I can’t tell you how many episodes of Kitchen Nightmares I’ve watched just to hear his perfectly crafted insults. If you’re a college student whose standards for a good meal don’t go far beyond instant noodles, I promise Mr. Ramsay’s wisdom is still applicable.
1. “My gran could do better! And she’s dead!”
When your prof randomly assigns groups for a big project, there’s bound to be that one person whose sole aspiration in life is to assure that your group bombs. This quote is for them.
2. “Q: What are you? A: An idiot sandwich.”
After a night of drinking and questionable decisions, these kinds of conversations between friends are inevitable. Sometimes you’re Gordon Ramsay, sometimes you’re his trainee. That’s just how things are.
3. “For what we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly not vomit.”
The silent prayer we all say every time we sit down to another subpar dinner at meal hall. You can avoid this by trying some of these meal hall hacks.
4. “How about a thank you, you miserable wee bitch?”
Whether we’re catching up on sleep or recovering from a hangover, sometimes we don’t make it to every class. When you’re the one sending out the notes and saving your friends’ GPAs, take a page from Gordon’s book on getting the appreciation you deserve.
5. “Hey, panini head, are you listening to me?”
I think the best thing about this quote is its versatility. Without question, the insult “panini head” is always applicable.
6. “I didn’t get depressed, I don’t get depressed.”
The straight-up denial that occurs after a bad night out, a bad exam, or just a bad day in general.
7. “But I’ve never, ever, ever, ever, ever met someone I believe in as little as you.”
For every time one of your friends has claimed they’re “never drinking again.” Yeah, that’ll happen.
8. “(SIGHS) Forecast for tomorrow? 100% chance of tears.”
When you’ve got a final at 8:30 am tomorrow morning…and you started studying at midnight.
9. “Some can handle it, and some can’t. I’m not interested in the ones that can’t.”
I’d love to end this article off with an inspirational note, and sure enough this is one of Mr. Ramsay’s most motivational. But I’m not going to. This is the quote you whip out when a member of the crew starts getting a little hesitant to take that fifth shot of tequila. If that’s not inspiration, I don’t know what is.