With the approach of beach season, tons of people attack the dieting scene in the hopes of scoring a perfect bikini body. Anything from juicing to going paleo is a shock to the body once you’ve ordered Insomnia Cookies so many times you have their phone number memorized. But as the diet begins, the struggle is real. Here are some thoughts we’ve all had while dieting:
Thoughts: I can’t believe I look like this…. bikini season is coming. What the hell have I been doing with my life? I’m not just going to workout more, I’m going to workout twice a day cut out all carbs, all sugar and all processed foods, and drink 8 glasses of water a day too. Ok, that should be good. This isn’t a diet actually, it’s a “lifestyle change”.
When The Diet Decision Has Been Made:
Thoughts: Time to get others on board, because who the hell wants to diet by themselves? And having your bestie eat limp salads with you should make it bearable. Two is better than one right?? Honestly if I’m going through this, everyone I know has to go through this too.
Day One, Hour 4:
Thoughts: Ok, you got this. Eat clean for 8 weeks and you’ll look like the next Adriana Lima. She didn’t lose that baby weight all in one night.
Day 2, Hour 31:
Thoughts: I need more food. Is this apple seriously supposed to keep me full till dinner? Like, I’m seriously hungry now. That yogurt and salad from earlier in the day just aren’t cutting it.
Day 2, Hour 40:
Thoughts: Maybe I’ll chug this water. That should fill me up right?…. Ok, that didn’t work. Still hungry.
Day 3, Hour 67:
Thoughts: People know you’re on this diet, you can’t stop now. You’ll just look unmotivated if you order Skippers. Keep eating your almonds and just bare with it.
Day 4, Hour 81:
Thoughts: Hangry alter ego is setting in. Most people have never seen me like this and they don’t want to. People should really back away or invent some type of zero calorie carb, stat.
Thoughts: If I eat another piece of plain grilled chicken I’m going to puke. Does the dining hall even know what spice is?
When you finally break the diet:
Thoughts: Mentality turns into that of a 16 year old boy returning from swim practice. Must eat all carbs in sight.
If you don’t break your diet after a week it does get easier. But who really wants to live without Ben and Jerry’s or pizza?
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