Glory Hallelujah, we did it, fam. We finally made it to the big leagues. Since JMU’s football team boasts a solid 7-0 record this season (thank you, Vad Lee), JMU’s homecoming game against Richmond this Saturday is going to be broadcasted nationally on ESPN’s College GameDay.
Get pumped because this means that homecoming weekend is going to be absolutely, ridiculously awesome. And what is a good football game with out a straight-up phenomenal tailgate beforehand?
We all know that JMU is known for having a good time, and for having the best tailgates. But with ESPN coming, we expect that this homecoming tailgate sesh is gonna be better and crazier than most. The food, the drinks, the music, the pick-up trucks, it’s gonna be bomb af and packed with students and alums alike. But we want you to be prepared for the insanity of what’s to come. So here’s nine people you can expect to encounter at this weekend’s homecoming tailgate.
1. That 40-Year-Old Alum Who Thinks He’s 20, Caught Slapping the Bag
Every homecoming, JMU alums return to campus to relive their glory years in the Burg. But since College GameDay is coming this weekend, expect to see even more than the usual amount of drunk alums acting half their age at a tailgate.
You can probably catch them downing a bag of cheap, boxed wine in the Convo parking lot and you’ll never be able to un-see it.
2. The Bros That Have Already Drowned Themselves in Kegs of Keystone
Will they make it to the game? Or will they be too drunk to trek from the Convo parking lot to to the stadium? We don’t know for sure, but we do know there’s a 100% chance that the Harrisonburg police will roll up on their bicycles to break up the shenanigans way before the game even starts.
With the hype surrounding the homecoming game and College GameDay, the drinks will definitely be stronger than usual. Party on, bros.
3. That Local Harrisonburg Family That’s Just Trying to Have a Nice Homecoming Barbecue
To all the local Harrisonburg townies just trying to enjoy your homecoming tailgate: I give you major props for braving the storm of JMU students so you can spend a day with your fam. You cook those burgers and you do you.
4. The Jell-O Shot Aficionados
Ahh, jell-o shots. There are numerous recipes for this alcoholic classic, and it can be a pretty delicious choice for this year’s homecoming tailgate. Expect to see a few of these enthusiasts on your journey through Godwin field. They probably won’t remember a single thing about the game, but it’s all good.
5. People Doing Beer Bongs Off the Bed of Their Truck
Keep it classy, kids.
6. Crock-Pot Enthusiasts
Look, I’ll admit that you can definitely crock-pot a lot of stuff. But some people think you can crock-pot everything. And I mean everything. So don’t be surprised if you see a group of tailgaters break out at least three of these babies this weekend with all sorts of tasty soups and savory meals.
7. That Group of Alums that Brought a Five Course Meal
I mean, I admire the effort, but please do less.
8. Drunk Super-Fans
Drunk super-fans are obvi a given at any JMU tailgate. Whether its the current students who literally think they’re the coach, or the super trashed middle-aged men rattling off countless, unimportant stats.
And with College GameDay arriving on campus for the game, these super fans are gonna be showing off their college football knowledge way more than usual. Just let ESPN do the talking, okay?
9. People Rooting for the Rival Team
Get out of here, you traitors.