There are about a million reasons you could be having diarrhea. Why exactly, you have the runs, is something I can't diagnosis from an article you're probably reading on your iPhone on the toilet (desperate googles happen, I get it).
But what I can provide you with is a list of some of the most common causes of diarrhea.
Read on for some of the most frequent causes for why you may be peeing out of your butt, and don't worry, this isn't WebMD, I'll try my best to avoid convincing you you have a brain tumor by the end of the article.
You Have a Virus
Viruses are one of the most frequent causes of diarrhea. Norovirus and rotavirus are common, and easily spread by oral-fecal contamination, even in very tiny amounts.
Most of the time, these bugs are not serious and clear up within a few days.
You Ate Something You're Not Used To
You Ate Something Sorta Off
A lot of times, eating things that may just be a little bit off can give you diarrhea.
Whether it's leftovers that have just begun to spoil, dirty produce, food that sat out of the fridge a wee bit too long or wasn't cooked to a high enough temperature, there are so many ways slighty-off food can cause diarrhea.
#SpoonTip: Foods high in protein and carbs tend to go bad the fastest, so things like pasta, rice, potatoes, and beans, are the first to go bad. If your food is made with something acidic, like lemon juice, vinegar, or mayo, it can increase the left-over shelf-life a bit.
You're Eating Something You're Sensitive to
Lactose-intolerance is a common cause of diarrhea. But besides lactose, you could have an underlying sensitivity to something else, whether it be wheat, a certain meats or something high in FODMAPs (see below).
You Ate Too Many FODMAPs
Lactose (in milk), fructans (in onions, garlic, and other fruits and veggies), polyols (found in artificial sweeteners ending in -ol), and other sugars found in many varieties of produce, grains, beans, and high fructose corn syrup, are all full of FODMAPs.FODMAPs if you have IBS or chronic diarrhea. But don't worry - most people don't have to completely avoid them all.
You Drank Too Much Last Night
Your Medicine Is Messin' With Ya
If you're suspicious that your meds could be the culprit, do yourself a favor and instead of googling it, call your pharmacist and ask.
You have IBS or IBD
If you find yourself having frequent issues with regularity (diarrhea and/or constipation), and/or lots of stomach cramping and gas, you may have irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), which is a pretty common but rarely serious condition.
If your diarrhea is serious and ongoing, you may have IBD, or inflammatory bowel disease.
If you're concerned about any of the above diagnosis, give your MD a visit to check things out.
What to Do About It:
No matter what the cause, be sure to stay hydrated, eat easy-to-digest-foods, and sanitize your phone if you bring it with you to the bathroom (just sayin').