Power in America doesn’t lie in the hands of its politicians. In fact, snack companies are the ones that are responsible for the most important of decisions, specifically, what you eat when you’re watching that House of Cards or Friends marathon in your bed. While you’re getting crumbs everywhere, there are a few complaints you would like to file against the real leaders of the free world.
1. Discontinuing products just to bring them back for special promotion
Looking at you, French Toast Crunch. Sure we all love the classic French toast and who doesn’t love cereal but c’mon, it’s been almost ten years. If you’re going to kill a product, let it die gracefully instead of digging it back up and destroying whatever pride it had left.
2. Coming up with bizarre flavors
The most recent craze with Lay’s potato chips is their out of the ordinary variety of new flavors. First of all, let’s look at the outstanding evidence: Wasabi flavor, chicken and waffles, cappuccino, and dill pickle. Whoever is responsible for the discounting of the traditional sour cream and onion, cheddar or just plain original should be arrested like the criminal that they are.
3. Having more air than chips in a bag
This in itself deserves to have a petition and strike held to right this terrible wrong. How many times have you opened what you thought was a full bag only to find maybe eight chips silently laughing at your disappointment. Well I say, “No more.” When you buy chips, you expect to get what you pay for in quantity, not only in magnificent, salty quality.
4. Snacks being too small
Going a similar route as number three, the snacks in a serving size are not nearly enough to fill you up. The nutrition facts, for those healthy enough to actually read them, only apply to a single serving. So for the average snacker, after the first half of that episode you’re watching, that first serving is a distant memory as you’re attacking number three and a half.
5. Dumb marketing ploys
Last, but certainly not least, we tackle the idea of HOW these foods are sold to us. Commercials that come up with ridiculous backstories for their products, like Twix (left and right factories) or Mike and Ike’s (who can forget when the two split up), sent us on the unnecessary path that we really didn’t want to go on in the first place. Please just give us the oddball commercials we all know and love, or better yet, just give us the snacks.