I’ve always been a fan of Burger King. Ever since I tasted my first chicken fries with my dad at 11 years old I’ve been hooked. At that moment, I knew a slight obsession with Burger King had begun.
I was never aware that Burger King had such an active and hilarious twitter account until it popped up on my feed one day. Here are 15 reasons why you should drop everything —unless it’s your phone— and follow Burger King on Twitter.
1. When Burger King answered the age-old question, “Who should I trust?”
Never trust anyone who says they don’t feel like BK.
— Burger King (@BurgerKing) January 22, 2016
While trusting them could be unhealthy, at least, I know that they always have my back whenever I’m hungry or sad.
2. When Burger King was the only friend I had
Friends come and go. BK is always there.
— Burger King (@BurgerKing) January 21, 2016
Friends come and go, but BK is always there.
3. When you realized this was you every day of freshman year during an 8 am class
*walks in 20 minutes late to class*
*sits in back*
*slowly pulls out Whopper*
*forgets he’s the teacher*
— Burger King (@BurgerKing) January 20, 2016
Everyone knows 8 am classes were created for people to be late.
4. When Burger King was brutally honest with themselves
Sometimes we think you only like us for our burgers.
— Burger King (@BurgerKing) January 18, 2016
I feel like people only like me for my BK coupons.
5. When they described true character
Character is who you are when your friend asks you to watch their Chicken Fries.
— Burger King (@BurgerKing) January 19, 2016
A person’s character isn’t only measured in how you treat people but it’s measured in how you can resist the urge to eat your friend’s food when they leave.
6. When they described my weekend plans
GOING BIG THIS WEEKEND
*Sits on couch*
— Burger King (@BurgerKing) January 15, 2016
Leaving my apartment and going out to socialize with the world is difficult, especially if I all want to do is sit on the couch and watch six hours of The Office while eating a hamburger.
7. When your parents ask you where you eat
*parents visiting college*
“And this is where I go to BK, Mom.”
— Burger King (@BurgerKing) January 14, 2016
My mom always asks me if I’ve eaten a salad or vegetables, and my response is always, “Of course I eat vegetables, at Burger King I ask them to put two pieces of lettuce on my hamburger.”
8. When they watched out for us people with big mouths
If you don’t have anything nice to say have some onion rings.
— Burger King (@BurgerKing) January 12, 2016
Thank you, BK onion rings for saving my big mouth.
9. When they described your relationship status
That awkward moment at the drive-thru when you receive your order and your hands touch ever so slightly.
— Burger King (@BurgerKing) January 11, 2016
This one time a Burger King employee looked at me and smiled. I thought we had an instant connection from our love of Burger King, but then I realized she did the same to every other customer.
10. What my phone tells me when I’m done taking a selfie
*takes selfie with onion rings*
Onion rings: delete it.
— Burger King (@BurgerKing) January 24, 2016
I’m the onion.
11. If they had a Tinder account
*See's profile bio*
Tall. Tan. Smells good. Crispy. Better with salt. I’m actually french fries.
— Burger King (@BurgerKing) December 19, 2015
So, if I make my picture on Tinder me holding a whopper I’ll get more matches?
12. When it’s my happy place
*goes to happy place*
*goes to BK*
— Burger King (@BurgerKing) January 31, 2016
People say that their happy place is on a beach or something along those lines. Well, my happy place is eating a burger at Burger King.
13. My life motto in six words
“Let’s just go to the drive-thru”
~ A memoir
— Burger King (@BurgerKing) January 29, 2016
That’s my response to anything that happens in life. Better to eat instead of cry, right?
14. When they described every dream I’ve ever had
*sleepwalks into BK*
— Burger King (@BurgerKing) January 28, 2016
Is it weird that I find myself dreaming about burgers. My friends told me that I may have this slight obsession with Burger King that might need to be checked.
15. When they described every party I’ve ever thrown
If you throw a party and chicken fries are the only ones that show up it’s still an awesome party.
— Burger King (@BurgerKing) December 26, 2015
I’ve always wanted to have a party but every time I muster the courage to have a party and invite people, they end up not showing up so I just sit home and drink a shake from Burger King while I binge watch Buzzfeed videos.
Thank you Burger King for providing us with endless fast food and humor.