Ahh, Valentine’s Day. A girl’s best friend, a girl’s worst enemy. One year, you’re celebrating life and love over a candlelit dinner lakeside, staring longingly into your lover’s eyes. The next, you’re sad and confused, sprawled out on your kitchen floor wondering if it’ll be legal to marry your dog by the time you’re 30.
All of the tears and heartbreak aside, there is one thing that remains constant on Valentine’s day every year, and that’s the food.
If you’re celebrating Valentine’s day as a bachelor or bachelorette this year, here are your go-to foods for the long day filled with paper hearts, bad chocolate, and unwarranted PDA.
You’ve been up not even 10 minutes and you’ve already seen your ex’s Instagram with his new girlfriend captioned with something vomit-worthy. Stay calm. Don’t throw anything. Cut the bullshit and start your day right. Nutella is major key here, make this Nutella-stuffed hot chocolate French toast.
Go big or go home with this monstrous cheese creation – tater-tot & bacon grilled cheese – which is probably sexier than your ex anyway.
3. Ice Cream
This is an obvious necessity. When you thought you knew someone and then they go and shit on your heart and your life, it’s important to focus on the things that you do still know to be true. That, my friends, is Ice Cream. Ice cream is truth.
4. Pizza Rolls
Let these homemade pizza rolls give you the strength you need to know that your ex is a dumbass, and that the combination of cheese, bread, and tomato sauce is more powerful than the combination of tall, dark, and handsome.
Who doesn’t look sexy eating a strawberry? So why not put some on a stick, cover those bad boys in chocolate, and get to work on these chocolate-covered fruit kabobs.
You’ve finally come to the conclusion that this whole “love” thing just isn’t for you. You find yourself wishing you could go back to a time when boys had cooties, and mom made you grilled cheese and tomato soup after a long day of throwing sand at them in the park.
Since you won’t be going out to any fancy brunches paid for by Prince Charming, you finally have time to actually make one of those unreal-looking spinach artichoke dips you see on your Facebook feed every day during class. And hey – there’s spinach in it.
8. More Nutella
We already know that Nutella will love you back, so why fight it? Embrace the love with this Nutella-stuffed brown butter pie… Yeah.
#SpoonTop: Save time and skip the utensils.
9. More Pizza
There is most likely a Valentine’s day 2-for-1 special going on at your local pizza place, but if you’re not trying to go in public (which is very understandable), this goat cheese and arugula pesto pizza should do the trick.
You is smart. You is important. You deserve a cupcake.
Your heart is already broken, so you might as well clog it up even more with some of that good good.
Nachos are traditionally a sharing food. What’s the best part of a sharing food? When you don’t have to share it with anybody. You won’t have to wait long either with this 15-minute loaded veggie nachos recipe.
This is just kind of a middle finger to the whole f*cking day. You don’t even have to eat them. Step on them, chew them up and spit them at people, throw the whole box off of a fucking mountain I don’t care, whatever makes you feel better.
You’ve made it. It’s 11:59 pm on Valentine’s Day and you’re still in tact. Take out the wine, pop the cork, and sit the f*ck down. Tomorrow is a new day.