Everyone knows Miami’s hottest sandwich shop: the reigning champion of drunken midnight munchies, the one, the only, Bagel and Deli. There is no greater satisfaction than one having one of their bagels in hand, squad on point, rolling through the madness that is B&D’s characteristically chaotic shop.

Bagel and Deli

Photo by Lauryn Lahr

Unfortunately however, regularly bingeing on Bagel & Deli isn’t exactly kind on your wallet. So, I’m looking to you Delish, with your modestly priced selection of sandwiches at Maple Street… So long as Diplomat Dollars bounce Uptown harder than a freshman’s fake ID, we’ll have to get creative. Craves can’t go unsatisfied; If the meal plan won’t come to Bagel & Deli, Bagel & Deli will come to the meal plan. Enter the food hacks.

 1. Go ham (The infamous MILF bagel)

Bagel and Deli

Photo by Ryan Terhune

This one’s for you Mrs. Robinson: ham, pepper jack, herbed cream cheese (Delish signature staple), lettuce, tomato, and the nearest bottle of hot sauce. Throw it on some sourdough, and this sandwich will have it going on like Stacy’s Mom.

2. Revamped Redskin

Bagel and Deli

Photo by Ryan Terhune

Although Delish has it’s own “signature” rueben, you’re always better off building it yourself for maximum flavor and minimal cost. It’s your classic deli staple of swiss, sauerkraut, and corned beef with a couple of tweaks; ‘frisco sauce instead of 1000 Island and slap the whole thing between two slabs of swirled rye. Rye’s a serviceable substitute for pumpernickel, but also, Holden Caulfield would totally call you out on your phony sandwich.

3. Quit Uptown, cold turkey

Bagel and Deli

Photo by Ryan Terhune

And by cold turkey, yes, we mean the Salty Hor. Instead of hiding your coarsely named culinary caprice on parents week, order turkey, American cheese (comparable to the original colby), honey mustard and a touch of salt at Delish instead. Discretely consume while reflecting on your poor life choices so far.

4. Dank ‘n’ eggs ‘n’ Delish

Bagel and Deli

Photo by Ryan Terhune

Go full breakfast with some toasted white bread, hard boiled eggs, crispy bacon, and honey mustard topped with roast beef. Almost as munchie satisfying as Taco Bell, with a bar side breakfast spin of boiled eggs and toast.

5. Got beef with protein? Go Greg-O

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The perfect addition to your meatless Mondays, featuring cream cheese, American cheese, guacamole (upgraded avocados), lettuce, tomato, bean sprouts , and mustard. No critters were harmed in the making of this bagel. Enjoy guiltlessly.

 6. Hot Messy Katie

Bagel and Deli

Photo by Ryan Terhune

Toss this concoction on the griddle for some righteous crispy contrast. Instructions: 86 the bialy for some sumptuous swirled rye, add turkey, American cheese, cream cheese, guacamole, lettuce, tomato, sprouts, and honey mustard. Grab a handful of napkins and dig in you glorious gastro gladiator.

7. Crunch and Munch

Bagel and Deli

Photo by Ryan Terhune

Yes. You heard me. Crunch and Munch at Delish? How, you ask? DIY punk: grab a bag of cool ranch or nacho cheese Doritos on your way to the counter. When you hit glass, request turkey, American cheese, lettuce, and honey mustard on the bread of your choice (I recommend sourdough). Gloriously crown with Doritos, then munch accordingly.

For other insane Deli and Bagel twists, check out this epic Spoon post.  (Petition to put the Billy Bass on the official Bagel & Deli roster).