Hey,

I AM SORRY,

To every person who bats an eye every time I am about to take a bite of my chicken burger (which I had been craving all over the week). I finally decided to have it after having a really long battle with myself and not eating anything all day.

But, I am sorry that I love food.

To my best friend who told me I shouldn't be drinking cola on that super hot day because “Do you know how many calories are in there?”. Yes I knew it was full of calories. But did you realise that I loved it and one gulp of that black soda gave me some weird satisfaction that water can never do.

But, I am sorry for having a favourite.

tea, beer, coffee
Namrata Satija

To every friend who told me I should lose weight or else no guy would ever be attracted towards me. It didn't help when every guy I liked did not like me back because, obviously, being fat made me less loveable and for some reason, incapable of being in a relationship. It made me feel that I did not deserve any love or affection or companionship when all my friends had someone special in their lives. Although, I do realise that it doesn't matter anymore, at that time it really did. It made me feel terrible about myself and took away the sense of a positive body image for me.

But, I am sorry I don’t appeal to your eyes.

To every one who invited me to hang out with them and then lectured me about how I should not be eating all that junk food. Yes, I know that our other friend who is also trying to lose weight was having salad because she was aware of what junk food could do to her "healthy" body. But you didn't have to humiliate me in front of everyone and could have let me enjoy that delicious pasta.

But, I am sorry I am not strong enough to say no to food that I dearly love.

To every person who taunted me for leaving the gym, again. You were flaunting how you got a six pack ab after all that hard work that you had put in. I totally appreciate your dedication but you didn't know the reason why I gave up. I gave up because even after going to the gym for months and giving it my hundred percent, I did not lose weight. I did go back, you know, but just to fail, AGAIN.

But, I am sorry that even after trying my hardest, I don’t lose weight and finally, give up.

To every guy who looked at me as if I was some alien because I had all that extra fat which other thinner and thus, better girls didn't. I know my best friends were “hot and pretty” but that didn't mean that I was nothing.

But, I am sorry for being nothing but just another fat girl.

Every other person who asked me “Why don’t you leave eating all the unhealthy food and start working out? Why don’t you lose weight?” You judged me without walking in my shoes. You never considered that maybe, I didn't want to lose weight and was comfortable in my own skin. You made me believe that my weight defined me and I should not be doing what the other people do.

But, I am sorry for not being as confident as I should have been.

To every relative who told me I would have been perfect if I wasn't fat. I had the perfect marks, a good college and fairly good values but I didn't look good, right? You whispered about how I should work out in my parents' ears for years and later, started saying it out loud in front of numerous relatives.

But, I am sorry that I am not "perfect". coffee
Namrata Satija

To every person who thought I was a little less because I was fatter,

I AM SORRY.

Hey,

THANK YOU,

To my best friend who stood by me when I was struggling to lose weight. You motivated me. You told me that I could have that ice cream I was about to buy, only after I lost 3 kgs and you even promised me that it will be your treat.

Thank you for motivating me every time to become a better me.

To every family member who asked me to lose weight because there are many repercussions of having an unhealthy body. You did not ask me to do it because I didn't look good.

Thank you for genuinely caring about me.

To my boyfriend who sat with me, heard me and held me every time I broke down. You looked beyond my weight and told me I was beautiful. You didn't let my weight come in the way of your love.

Thank you for making me believe in me.

To every friend who loved me for the person I am. You realised that I was a good writer, dancer and most importantly, a good person. You helped me feel good about myself. You understood I have worked really hard to become the person I am today.

Thank you for elevating me.

water, coffee
Namrata Satija

To every one who accepted me for who I am. You helped me believe that being fat does not define me,

THANK YOU.

We fat people do not use the umbrella of body shaming to hide away and lead an unhealthy lifestyle. Its just that we deserve to be treated as equals as we work as hard as everyone else. Being fat does not define a person. 

If you are on the healthier side of the scale, accept yourself. Work hard if you want to achieve a thinner body. And if you are satisfied with your body, embrace it. Don't be so hard on yourself and live the life that you dream of living.

To every one else around, do not push the fat people down. Every time you tell them they are not good enough, you are scarring them and bringing their confident down. Instead of taunting them, motivate them. 

We all get one life, let's make it the best life possible.